I felt alive with the gush of spring that continuously flows within me!
One of my inspirations wrote something on my timeline ... and I left it suspended the entire week. The truth is, she has been asking me this for a few months already since I started writing about the Hidden Life,
"Do you know your vocation?"
I. Period of Purification
"If you meet the Buddha, kill him."
-Linji Yixuan, Killing the Buddha
It is a perfectly strong statement that continues to inspire me to get to know God more.
For several years, I have thought of vocation as a 'higher calling,' an invitation from the Divine to enter into fellowship with Him through a religious community. At a young age, joining the missionaries was the closest thing I could ever think of.
I felt 'called' to live out a certain lifestyle that puzzled people ... even myself.
"If you are looking for peace, stability, comfort and security...it couldn't be found here (in the mission area). You will be tested in fire." ~ conversations with my SD
I was very certain that it was what I was called for but at one point, I was not so sure anymore.
My SD, in the collections of his homily, said: "Quando tutto appare chiaro, e' molto pericoloso"(When everything seems clear, it is very dangerous).
I was encouraged to take a new journey and begin again.
II. Get Married!
If you think eating words and homilies for breakfast is healthy, think again.
If we were referring to God's Words and homilies of my spiritual fathers, I'd say definitely, yes! Eat the Words, taste them, devour them, until the Words are incarnated.
When I came back home, I had my dad. I respect him for his wisdom but I really have to admit that I doubt most of his counsels.
I've been staying in our house for four and a half years now. And his perpetual homily consisted of 'getting married.'
"Okay, I'll go look for one in the department store."
It has become a constant ridicule in the household and seconded by my ARTner, Fher and some intimate friends since Sam left. Believe me, we tried (Wanted Perfect Husband). My Vision Board with Linda Lee was more promising. I began to shift my gears towards that direction...
Through the months I nurtured the desire to marry. Then, I began to discover that vocation goes beyond my relationship status. Instead, it is that call that will bring me closer to God, where my heart could breathe and dilate more in relationship to other people.
If some find it in religious life, then their pursuit of holiness could be found within the context of community relationships. If most people find it in marriage, then holiness could be achieved through having a husband/wife and a family.
III. Discovery in Depth
I found mine in being a single celibate at this moment. My parents and some people started noticing a change in me these past couple of weeks. And that included the ring I'm wearing. I am committed to bring children closer to God. I enjoy my moments with Jesus and the people He gives me everyday to journey with.
They respected the 'retreat' I had the last couple of months and now they see that I'm interacting again ~more active and alive after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation... gentler, calmer... with a purpose...
I give myself and what I have because I have received infinite graces from the Lord. .. His love, compassion, mercy and kindness moves me...
"Vocation, vocatio, is about being raised from the dead, made alive to the reality that we do not merely exist, but we are "called forth" to a divine purpose."
-A.J. Conyers, The Meaning of Vocation
Do you know your vocation?