Monday, January 16, 2012

Keeping My Dreams Alive part 1

16 January 2012 ~

It seems that I've been logging in every single, significant event that has transpired all throughout my day since the first of January. It's like waking up fresh every morning, sixteen days old at that. 

I'm just beginning to see life and feel it!

Jan Neel's photo
I dusted the cobwebs in my mind... revisited the dreams that I once had and found them as fresh as when I first imagined them in my childhood. 

I re-arranged my plans in quit it, I actually started a new page. 
I began looking at the mirror, which I haven't done for a long time...
and I smiled with what I saw...

India on my mind

I've always dreamt of going to this place. I've made my itinerary since last year but I still have not obtained my parents' blessings to go there

...and I await that day when 
I'll finally get to see my soul sisters and friends. 

While at it, I mused that God has answered this prayer in another form
~ a glimpse of 'Little India' in Singapore in 2010 and entering a Hindu temple...

Then again, I sighed... I should have specified when I prayed that I wished to go to Calcutta, India and spend a few days there with some friends.

Two of my fellow bloggers came to my mind spontaneously...
Mike Print of Shibboleth
Nelieta Mishchenko of

I thought of forming a group to do mission there.

Well, it could be fun. Chissa? (Who knows?)

my artwork drawn in 1996 ~ in craypas
I spent ten years of my life away from home. I have already built my identity.
Then God led me to another road. 

I listened...

My heart said...

Should Someone come now or later, I leave it in God's hands. 

Dad's paintings

Haven for Children

It was a dream I originally shared with Sam. 

I prayed for a particular charism ~
where would God most likely call me?
The abandoned, street children, handicapped, the sick, the abused?

Then I read an article on Orissa and I felt maybe God calls me to take care of young girls.
I'm still praying for discernment.

Most often, I'd ask something from God and He gives me something else.

For example, as I shared in my earlier posts, as a young nurse, I wished to serve the poor, but God put me in a private school for children.

Perhaps, God wanted me to work on the virtue of humility and deepen my awareness of the reality.

Poverty isn't always found in the dumpsite...

 It is found in human hearts bereft of love, care and attention.

So I have my vision board and God has a different agenda.
Do I put an end to my dreams?

 Of course not.

I keep them alive...
and God ~ shapes them into something better...
something more worthwhile...

                        my artwork reproduced from Kriz John Rosales' photo
                              TEMPO, March 26,2010, Vol. 28 No.085,p.1


  1. i just want to say soul-sis, i wait for you here in India. i dearly pray to meet you one day, hug you and cry loud out of my love and gratitude for you.

    live your dreams, execute your dreams, no matter what. make it a reason to live, make it a reason to enjoy and cherish life. love all pouring your heart. i know your love is genuine and pure.

    i respect your outlook towards life, towards the way you overcome pain and grief on life's way. life has many colors, some are bright, some grey. but our attitudes what so ever must always be positive to overcome all and live the purpose to live life, to love God.

  2. The tough thing about following you heart is that people forget to mention that sometimes the heart takes you to places you shouldn't be. Places that are scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring. Sometimes your heart cannot take you to places that lead to happy ending. That's not even the difficult part; the difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal; you go into the unknown and once you do you can never go back.
    After a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand, and falling in love. You'll learn kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes goodbyes are forever.
    You are a winner Melissa...and I know and hope that all your dreams come true.

  3. Mely ur dreams are a reason to move ahead and more u nurture them more d growing restlesness in ur heart will help u try avenues to accomplish them...

    I feel god loves u so much that he smiles wen u smile n cries wen u do...

    O! smile now....:)

    Love U

  4. I love this reflection on where you are and where God is leading you, Melissa. You so deftly weave your dreams and longings with God's will for you, accepting His call over your own.
    I especially like what you said about poverty not just being found at a dumpsite but in the hearts of those who don't know love. Love is something your whole persona exudes! No matter where you are or what you do, you will spread that love as a blessing to others.
    May God continue to bless you!

  5. Hello Melissa.
    I am so touched by this post.
    Your openness & honesty play with my heartstrings (smile).

    To love & be loved in return is the best blessing from God. Never give up on your dreams. Let God be your guide. Follow your will never lead you astray. God knows the purity of your heart & listens to all your pleas. He might not answer in the way you wish or expect, but He always answers.

    I wish you nothing but the best in this life. Where there's hope, there's life & love.

    Love your creativity & artwork!
    Thanks for sharing.

  6. What a beautifully honest, contemplative post. Keep praying and listening to your heart. The answer will make itself known. In the mean time, I send you love and happy thoughts to get through the uncertainty. :)

    Thanks so much for all the comments you left on Pokey's blog yesterday!! :)

  7. I am waiting for you in india..... The one another thing is that our heart always says truth.....but poeple around us never understand deeply exept some.....India is a country where every people of different cast different religion live togather with love each other.....

    Come soon...

    Love you.

  8. Just go and have alive..

  9. A touching post... follow your heart where ever it may lead..... there is always a reason.

  10. I am really proud of you, dearest MOM!!~

  11. Beautifully honest post...such deep thought, live and live happy....<3<3<3

  12. I was remiss in adding that you artwork is beautiful I loved it all and it fit so well. thank you for using my photo.<3

  13. The humility and beauty of your soul is so reflected in these reflections of yours soul sis. I really look forward to that day when God brings you here. I loved that line of your "Poverty isn't always found in the dumpsite". Till then be happy and in tune with god and love.

  14. I always feel at my most vulnerable when I visit your blog because I know I will need to be in touch with all of my emotions. There was a lot being said here and shown. Your talent for one is amazing. Your artwork is some of the best I've seen and it always brings special moments to life!

    Regarding following dreams and then being re-positioned or directed, that happens to us all in different ways. You are filled with goodness so no matter what you are doing or choose to do, it will be for the best. Hugs dear one!

  15. Melissa, this is such a beautiful post and written from the heart. It is true, we will never understand what God has in mind for us. All we need to know is that He always has great things in mind for us! xxxxx

  16. Melissa, only you alone know what is right for you. This is such a touching post emanating deep from your soul. Thank you for sharing such a honest and open post :)

  17. AMEN!!! This is beautiful. It reminds me of this scripture... "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord."

    BUT His ways are way BIGGER and BETTER than anything we could ever ask or want.!!! AND He will give us the desires of our heart, which only He knows exactly what we need! ;)

    I LOVE that you are writing and dreaming, for He will grant your requests!!! xo

  18. Wow This is what I missed!!! Melissa I think of you often. Follow your heart as you would a GPS but remember to listen to your brain I think we are born with an innate sense of what is right for us. The problems arise when we don't listen and go against what we know is right for us. Bless you