Monday, October 22, 2012

Home... at Last!

 I wish it could be like this...

google image from Tangled
A friend frantically wrote me, "No news for many days, are you okay?" 

Oh if you could only see me! 

I am FEELING for the first time in many years...

music: Sleeping at Last by Turning Pages

It was an assignment I picked up since it started way back 2001.

Where have I been all these years?

Outside of myself! And now, I'm fully coming in.

I am inside my 'body' ~ my own skin marked with history...

MY story... 

I thought I could just fly to God leaving this body behind. Then he hushed me, "We communicate with Him not only with our heart (cuore) BUT also with our head (la testa) and feet (i piedi)... with our whole body (con tutto il nostro corpo)...


If that is so...

then what have I been doing sitting infront of my pc all day?

CAMMINIAMO... to taste!

October 2012: I ordered a gigantic pizza from Yellow Cab

October 2012: A friend brought us this special empanada originally from Ilocos...

...books to read!

Belle and I devouring old books from the shelf

September 2012 Bookfair at MOA

...languages to learn!

... everyday a NEW thing to paint!

Mother and Child Belle and I painted together

Glitter Ballerina I painted at my brother's house... it takes time but it's really therapeutic!

... celebrations!

October 2012: Procession, Our Lady of La Naval de Manila
21 October 2012, Pedro Calungsod's canonization along with six others at EWTN
1 October 2012 Julius Legaspi's exhibit
Linda Lee, not only angel visits but Mama Mary gets to stay with us til the first week of November. music with kids!

...illusions and dreams... overtaken by the books I read... and my VB...

...hopes... now outside the tower... beyond the walls... to be as light as a feather...

...and Him... He'll always be a part of me... no matter what I do... or think... or plan in my life...

... "you are going to reach dizzy heights," my friend continued...

google image from The Twilight Saga

a friend mirroring my soul...
there's a mirror PURER and MORE PERFECT than this...

''but please...
remain in the practical world.

what we see doesn't happen...

and that which we don't see...

Well, I want to know what I am living for...

WHO I'm living for...

~ let that song linger~

 I'll see Him face to face
 one day...


Monday, October 15, 2012


google image: Twilight 
I couldn't...


I've been spending sleepless nights since Sunday (10.07.12)...

I just couldn't bear that 'that part of me' dies...

*No copyright infringement intended

My eyes rested on my Vision Board... 

For several months, my heart hibernated and refused to be awakened...

I lost a piece of me...

but there's a continuous glow that grows inside...

 finding it's way back...


I Come Back To Myself Slowly
Shalom Freedman
source: PoemHunter.Com

I come back to myself slowly
I have been away for a time
To another part of myself
I do not want to be at all ---
It is the part of Despair and Fear and Loss
of Hope
And guilt over my own unworthiness ---
I have come back to myself a bit
I am sort of alright
There is not around me all this weight and cloud and
all this heavy dragging me down ---
I am calmer now.

I say I am coming back to my better self
I hope so
I do feel better ---
But I know Life and the Other Self wait for me and will
find me again ---
Up and down, over and out, all around
The human being is a succession of his own
continually conflicting selves.


"There is no fear in love...

but perfect love drives out fear..."

Sunday, October 7, 2012

God's Gift

Blogger Widgets

"At Last" painting by Lauri Blank
music: Carol Banawa's version of If I Believe
device: OpenDrive
falling hearts: Blogspot Tutorial

Pure love...

Rafa (Be still)... ephphatha (Be opened) ...rakhma (Love)...

Monday, October 1, 2012

Εφφαθα 2: Take hEARt

I roused from a dream of a storm... 

Water trickled from my room's ceiling and the wind banged my window. I thought another flood was coming... I looked outside my window and to my surprise... it wasn't raining heavily outside!

The Spirit breathed into the dormant regions of my being. 

Several days ago, God showed me the way to 'reconciliation' also through a dream. I 'felt' the changes it brought me afterwards ~ my body and mind were more relaxed. 

Yesterday while listening to the priest's homily, the Lord brought up a memory from seven years ago. He pointed out a sin recurring because of postponement. Why am I terribly fond of delaying a decision? "Sin enslaves", I heard the Lord whispered. There's so much emotional blackmails tied in this ~ ALL because I lingered in another whirlpool

And here comes the Lord leading me to the gates of freedom... choose <life>!
I looked at myself in the mirror and echoed what my soul sister told me, "It's your inner beauty that reflects on your face."  The Lord sees more... 
Belle, my niece 30/9/12

I want to keep my ear wide open
like a door folding out to the sun,
ready to receive all that the ball of
of fire spills across the threshold.
I want the Word to trickle through
the long canal to the heart and
find a place to stretch out in a dream,
then expand through my sense
to some form in reality. I want
it to grow sturdy like a tree
that dances in every emotion
of the wind, hearing music
even when there is only silence.

~Morning Ear by Georgen ~

And looking up to heaven, He sighed and said to him,
"Εφφαθα," which is 'be opened'. ~ Mk. 7, 34