Closer



google image: Twilight 
I couldn't...
----


 I've been spending sleepless nights since Sunday (10.07.12)...
I just couldn't bear that 'that part of me' dies...
----

device: opendrive.com
*No copyright infringement intended


My eyes rested on my Vision Board... 


 ----
For several months, my heart hibernated and refused to be awakened...

I lost a piece of me...



but there's a continuous glow that grows inside...

 finding it's way back...

------

I Come Back To Myself Slowly
Shalom Freedman
source: PoemHunter.Com

I come back to myself slowly
I have been away for a time
To another part of myself
I do not want to be at all ---
It is the part of Despair and Fear and Loss
of Hope
And guilt over my own unworthiness ---
I have come back to myself a bit
I am sort of alright
There is not around me all this weight and cloud and
all this heavy dragging me down ---
I am calmer now.

I say I am coming back to my better self
I hope so
I do feel better ---
But I know Life and the Other Self wait for me and will
find me again ---
Up and down, over and out, all around
The human being is a succession of his own
continually conflicting selves.
-----


"There is no fear in love...

but perfect love drives out fear..."


Comments

  1. JANUOctober 16, 2012 at 12:53 AM

    It is great to come back to self...to discover the parts and traits of us which we have compromised with for some reason. Love conquers all....even the fear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:30 AM

      That is so true Janu. Thank you very much for your comment. God has allowed me to encounter my self in a deeper way.

      Love is the greatest gift I've received today.

      Lots of love.

      Delete
  2. Martha Jane OrlandoOctober 16, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    Holding you close, Melissa, in love and in prayer . . . let that beautiful soul of yours which God created spread wings and fly with unadulterated joy.
    Much love, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:32 AM

      You have become so much a part of my journey Martha. I love the relationship that we have that is born through praying.

      Thank you for the love, prayers and support I receive from you.

      I'd love to fly :D

      Lots of love Martha always!

      Delete
  3. bennjaminOctober 16, 2012 at 6:29 AM

    Lovely things I'm reading here. But I was happy especially hearing again that fantastic Christina Perri song, A Thousand Years. I really love that one, gives me a warm feeling time and again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:34 AM

      Thanks JCM. I'm glad you listened to Christina Perri. The post makes more sense with the music :)

      And I also read your comments over at Lisa's posts.

      God bless :)

      Delete
  4. DebraOctober 16, 2012 at 10:56 AM

    Which part of yourself did you lose, Melissa?
    But that vital part, the soul that glows in the dark, that interior fire will never die out.
    When you return to yourself, it is to the real Self, the treasure in the earthen vessel.
    Always the treasure, the pearl of great price the glows bright.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:39 AM

      I lost that part of me that believes and hopes and waits...

      I wish to take charge of my life ~ to TRULY live it authentically.

      Oh thanks God for that glow that prays when I couldn't and hat refreshes when it is parched.

      I love you Debra. Thank you for this message :)

      Delete
  5. ColleenOctober 16, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    So beautifully expressed Melissa! I know this feeling. Welcome back to your beautiful self dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:40 AM

      Oh welcome back to you too Colleen :) Lots of love to you always!

      Delete
  6. IreneOctober 18, 2012 at 1:27 AM

    coming back to a better self -- that's something I always hope for whenever I find my "self" going away. Perhaps our "selves" also need to go on a retreat, to recuperate when they are tired, and then come back fresh and better.

    Welcome "back," Melissa ❤❤❤ God bless :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 18, 2012 at 5:46 AM

      Yes I agree. All that is inside are mostly exposed in Facebook rather than with God. Sometimes, it's easier that way because we get instant reactions ~ people like and comment and reply by hitting the button... while we WAIT on God's answers.

      I do take retreats (and prayer) ~ and I realized over the weekend that if I wish to spend more time with people in the 'real' world (with God), the first thing I have to give up is the computer ;)

      Lots of love Irene :*

      Delete
    2. Melissa TandocOctober 18, 2012 at 5:47 AM

      Thank you :*

      Delete
  7. Dangerous LindaOctober 18, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Dear Melissa,

    Sounds like a dark night of the soul experience. They are not fun, right? But, powerfully cathartic! Very exciting! Holding you in my heart as you come back to your new/old self! XOXOXOXOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 19, 2012 at 8:08 PM

      I'll answer this in my next post Linda :)

      Lots of love :*

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Soul Friends

Image
Linking into the 'Blogging and Friends' blog hop at Bongo Is Me and  Living with Food Allergies and Celiac Disease . I met with some friends this day. We've known each other since we were ten and somehow even though two of them already reside in the US, we've managed to communicate all throughout these years. Our traditional lunch at Abe (from L-R: Hazel, Ella, Me, Hazel's parents) 5 May 2012 Sto. Domingo (5 May 2012) Then I went on a date with my childhood friend. I have not visited Him for a while and I longed to see Him (He was waiting for me ). I came home and spent time with my friends online... It was while reading Bonnie's post that I became reminiscent of how my life started in the blogging world. It was January last year when my ARTner and friend for two years in Tagged asked me if I was interested to publish my ideas. I read Fher's blog but made comments on my online journal for discussion. I was a bit hesi...
Read more

ţlīthā qūm

  ţlīthā qūm Mark 5, 41 NIV I wonder how He said it... Was it similar to a song?... a soft whisper...  la Sua voce serena... tranquilla... 'Nowadays, we couldn't distinguish whether one is angry or affectionate ~ the tone with which we say things are the same...' preached the priest last Sunday. ...He  saw her, he called her forward and said to her,  “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.”  Luke 13, 12 NIV There's something in This man... His look... His gaze... His eyes... mi penetra... nel profondo... fino all'anima mia... "He reached out His hand and touched the man. " Matthew 8, 3 NIV ...gently... senza timore... ------- I remember a story recounted by one Peruvian missionary nurse I worked with in North Africa. She was assigned to prepare a teenager for his first communion. He not only looked younger but he was quite smaller than his age. He was all curled up because of an unknown disease. His whole body...
Read more

Of Cups and Dreams

Image
I scooped up TWO EMPTY CUPS before leaving that Sacred place... and whispered something to two Franciscan priests... I woke up and reached playfully inside my pocket to see if I brought them home with me then I wrote Lisa Marie Farfalla about this dream. Empty...cups... It was the night before the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The next day, Corinne Rodrigues wrote  Half Empty or Half Full?  . On the 21st, Savira Gupta wrote something about emptiness:  "Emptiness or a feeling of void is a phase or a moment of pause. A time to observe, understand and digest what I have experienced. It is when I am nudged into looking or deciphering what is meaningful and what needs to be discarded. A time to ponder or be with myself....No judgments or labeling....  Making space for what is about to come" Yesterday, I came across Andy David 's  This Cup of Mine  . Symbols, colors, numbers, dreams ~ Each of us had CUP in mind...  A CUP ...
Read more