Closer



google image: Twilight 
I couldn't...
----


 I've been spending sleepless nights since Sunday (10.07.12)...
I just couldn't bear that 'that part of me' dies...
----

device: opendrive.com
*No copyright infringement intended


My eyes rested on my Vision Board... 


 ----
For several months, my heart hibernated and refused to be awakened...

I lost a piece of me...



but there's a continuous glow that grows inside...

 finding it's way back...

------

I Come Back To Myself Slowly
Shalom Freedman
source: PoemHunter.Com

I come back to myself slowly
I have been away for a time
To another part of myself
I do not want to be at all ---
It is the part of Despair and Fear and Loss
of Hope
And guilt over my own unworthiness ---
I have come back to myself a bit
I am sort of alright
There is not around me all this weight and cloud and
all this heavy dragging me down ---
I am calmer now.

I say I am coming back to my better self
I hope so
I do feel better ---
But I know Life and the Other Self wait for me and will
find me again ---
Up and down, over and out, all around
The human being is a succession of his own
continually conflicting selves.
-----


"There is no fear in love...

but perfect love drives out fear..."


Comments

  1. JANUOctober 16, 2012 at 12:53 AM

    It is great to come back to self...to discover the parts and traits of us which we have compromised with for some reason. Love conquers all....even the fear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:30 AM

      That is so true Janu. Thank you very much for your comment. God has allowed me to encounter my self in a deeper way.

      Love is the greatest gift I've received today.

      Lots of love.

      Delete
  2. Martha Jane OrlandoOctober 16, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    Holding you close, Melissa, in love and in prayer . . . let that beautiful soul of yours which God created spread wings and fly with unadulterated joy.
    Much love, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:32 AM

      You have become so much a part of my journey Martha. I love the relationship that we have that is born through praying.

      Thank you for the love, prayers and support I receive from you.

      I'd love to fly :D

      Lots of love Martha always!

      Delete
  3. bennjaminOctober 16, 2012 at 6:29 AM

    Lovely things I'm reading here. But I was happy especially hearing again that fantastic Christina Perri song, A Thousand Years. I really love that one, gives me a warm feeling time and again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:34 AM

      Thanks JCM. I'm glad you listened to Christina Perri. The post makes more sense with the music :)

      And I also read your comments over at Lisa's posts.

      God bless :)

      Delete
  4. DebraOctober 16, 2012 at 10:56 AM

    Which part of yourself did you lose, Melissa?
    But that vital part, the soul that glows in the dark, that interior fire will never die out.
    When you return to yourself, it is to the real Self, the treasure in the earthen vessel.
    Always the treasure, the pearl of great price the glows bright.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:39 AM

      I lost that part of me that believes and hopes and waits...

      I wish to take charge of my life ~ to TRULY live it authentically.

      Oh thanks God for that glow that prays when I couldn't and hat refreshes when it is parched.

      I love you Debra. Thank you for this message :)

      Delete
  5. ColleenOctober 16, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    So beautifully expressed Melissa! I know this feeling. Welcome back to your beautiful self dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 17, 2012 at 4:40 AM

      Oh welcome back to you too Colleen :) Lots of love to you always!

      Delete
  6. IreneOctober 18, 2012 at 1:27 AM

    coming back to a better self -- that's something I always hope for whenever I find my "self" going away. Perhaps our "selves" also need to go on a retreat, to recuperate when they are tired, and then come back fresh and better.

    Welcome "back," Melissa ❤❤❤ God bless :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 18, 2012 at 5:46 AM

      Yes I agree. All that is inside are mostly exposed in Facebook rather than with God. Sometimes, it's easier that way because we get instant reactions ~ people like and comment and reply by hitting the button... while we WAIT on God's answers.

      I do take retreats (and prayer) ~ and I realized over the weekend that if I wish to spend more time with people in the 'real' world (with God), the first thing I have to give up is the computer ;)

      Lots of love Irene :*

      Delete
    2. Melissa TandocOctober 18, 2012 at 5:47 AM

      Thank you :*

      Delete
  7. Dangerous LindaOctober 18, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Dear Melissa,

    Sounds like a dark night of the soul experience. They are not fun, right? But, powerfully cathartic! Very exciting! Holding you in my heart as you come back to your new/old self! XOXOXOXOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa TandocOctober 19, 2012 at 8:08 PM

      I'll answer this in my next post Linda :)

      Lots of love :*

      Delete

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