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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Midnight Tryst

Lauri Blank's painting

I think of you most of the time. I haven't been like this for quite sometime now. My crazy heart tells me it's pumping blood profusely than usual...Well, I guess that I'm in love again...and I fell for the least person I expected. 

Yes, I know...you seduced me and I've allowed myself to be seduced...

You brought me back to life...freeing my mind, my heart, my soul... 

There are days that I'd wish I could really fly...and you'll be the one to catch me...

OH, there's nothing wrong with wishful thinking... you could be here and I there...

You pervade my thoughts constantly...

...I can't resist you... 

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Help Me Find JOY!








A Love Letter to Myself



Carissima Melissa,

Yey! Imagine how much I yearned for you to write me. It has been taking you forever and I'm very glad you finally took time to respond to your beautiful soul's Celebrate YOU challenge.



I celebrate the two years you've undoubtedly faced reality in your search for true happiness... I know it didn't come easily. But what you have considered 'lost years' were actually archived in your book of life. You never ceased to grow...
 you just 'bloom' wherever God plants you.


I allow you to feel the intensity of your feelings. I celebrate everytime you've overcome your sadness... or pain... Oh, it's okay to cry...please do whenever you feel like it. Let it purify and heal you. I know that a little sense of humor afterwards could ease everything away...

I allow you to be who you truly are...sans masks... sans pretensions... IT IS TIME TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. What is it that makes you happy? Go search...find that pearl. Ask, seek, knock. It is never too late. Never think you are too old to do something new.

I celebrate your new insights... and openness to every situation that comes your way...

I celebrate your patience... I know you too well to change your plans... and to begin again...
taking up the tent and being blown away by God's Spirit...let me expose all your fears to the Lord and let Him take care of those.



Acquiesce carissima con tanta gioia e serenita'... 

"Ti ringrazio Signore
di avermi creata!"


-Sta. Chiara-

(I thank You Lord for creating me)

you were born with a purpose Melissa... 



It's time to celebrate ...
YOU


---------------------------------
photos 1 & 2 taken by May Christine Tandoc
photo 3 taken today while I reflect on the love letter

Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Sun-date: Enlightened 2nd part



Chinese Garden, Singapore
photo by May Christine Tandoc


"Go out! Get out! Get a life!,sassed a wise friend one Friday night. 
                                                                    Who could ever win a two against one argument? Remember I had a similar powwow with my dad and this just isn't my day...

I told him, "Okay, okay...on Sunday, I'll be going out on a rendezvous."

"Good for you," he replied.
Yeah, right... I 'll be going out...


                                 with my parents...

_________________________

For most of us I guess... coming to social networks might mean rest from the daily hassles of life... to be entertained... to gain friends... the rest, others can decide... 

I may have about sixty people in my friends list but only a few who really come to Tagged and FB regularly. About ten who writes me every now and then when an occasion arises. I really appreciate the tags and comments and I read them. 
Maybe a particular tag was sent to me with a purpose but the ones I receive from closest friends could lift my soul... especially when my dry spells arrive when I feel awfully tired...

But messages coming from the heart... these are different. Not many are capable of sharing their own thoughts and feelings. Some would write me to share their experiences for the day... common interests like art and music... passion over food and cooking... the weather... their jobs... work... plans in life... I appreciate them more because we have shared in few sentences "something" about life.

My buddhist friend wrote me one day:

The test is that true love exists, yet is THIS the real deal? The silence between the two of you is like a test.  Will you last through this?  Will you realize something?  Will there be an awakening?  This time is really stressful for you.  Sometimes God, or whatever you may believe in, tests you to see if this is right.  
Feel with your most inner heart, 
your inner being

       Don't worry what others may think or say.  

Yet look at the realization that IF he does not come back into your life, have you lost or won?  This is determined by what personal growth you have accomplished from this ordeal.                 (18th June 2011)


 A sudden flash of light struck me after talking with that friend... 

I was inside a dark cave... no glimpse of hope was there... and I asked God, where are You?...

 He came in... and brought forth LIGHT... and asked me..."Melissa, where is darkness? 
Am I not Light Itself?"


And I realized...


Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.-Psalm 139,12 NAB

Chinese Garden, Singapore
photo taken by May Christine Tandoc

and I went out...


Monday, June 20, 2011

Thrice Enlightened: First Part



____________________________

PREGHIERA DI SAN FRANCESCO D'ASSISI DAVANTI A CROCIFISSO DI SAN DAMIANO

 (Prayer of St.Francis of Assisi infront of the San Damiano Crucifix)


O alto e glorioso Dio, O Most High and Glorious God
illumina le tenebre illumine the darkness
del cuore mio. of my heart.
Dammi una fede retta, Give me right faith,
spearanza certa, certain hope,
carita' perfetta perfect charity
e umilta' profonda. and profound humility.
Dammi, Signore, Grant me, O Lord,
senno e discernimento  discernment
per compiere la tua vera that I may fulfill your true
e santa volonta'. Amen. and most holy will. Amen.


da Charitatis Hostia di Mons. Marco Frisina

______________________________________________________


There are certain nights I couldn't sleep, most especially when my day has been particularly heavy or when I fail to communicate with particular people. I had dry spells over a month and I felt the Lord a bit far from me. I received no consolations and I felt the intensity of my inordinate desires increasing. 

We've been taught that dreams are extensions of our daily lives... when what was not given any particular attention or neglected or unaccepted has been pushed to the subconsciousness. They lay like icebergs waiting for "titanic" to nudge it to emerge into the conscious state...

So I lay on my bed, a little restless, maybe even because of the sudden rise of temperature... and three familiar faces popped into my head. Three of my former co-missionaries whom I have not been in contact with for two full years came to me in my dreams... angels God sent to me to relieve my soul.



I sang David's psalm of trust that made my heart serene...

"My soul rests in God alone, from whom comes my salvation. God alone is my rock and salvation my secure height; I shall never fall..." ---Psalm 62,2-3

I'll go back to my bed again and lie peacefully on His chest...












Sunday, June 19, 2011

Dream Maker

*I was here early morning..... greeting my friends..... then God led me to read a beautiful post by Ms. Debra El-Ramey...


Debra,
Thank you so much.... 
it has touched me in more ways than one...

and as much as my wish didn't come true, I'd like him to hear this...

___________________________________

Just before the day ends, I'd like you to know that....
_____

Here I was listening to an old familiar tune you used to play when we were kids...


Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see. 
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.


music by Henry Mancini, lyrics by Johnny Mercer
© 1961 Paramount Music Corporation, ASCAP



I remember how you used to get angry whenever we distract you by our noise while you were at the piano... 

I've always known you for your "quick temper"... 


I don't know why, but these past few weeks, you've been displaying your tender side...

 I forgot how it felt to be cuddled by you... 

melissa 

It seemed a long time ago... 

but somehow, reaching deep down there, 

I knew how it felt like to be loved by you...
_____

I forgive you.


Friday, June 17, 2011

A Page Breather: "S is for ....."



Stylish Blogger Awards for Seven Beautiful Souls...
______________________________


Two of my young friends gifted me with this award:


Harshal Patel of Think Once...!
http://lovelyharshal.wordpress.com
and
Mohini Puranik of
http://narayankripa.blogspot.com


 Grazie di cuore!

__________________________________________


I first saw this award from my fashion writer friend, Ma Faye Liana. I wasn't so sure what a Stylish blogger meant so let's see...


I get to share seven "candid" things about me.


1. Hair style?


You'd be surprised to know that I really... truly like my hair short (I grew it long for love's sake...geez...nothing else could ever move me in such a way) plus...
it has its natural curls, I have to blow it dry to make it straight...


The last time I did,
my colleagues didn't recognize me :P


2. I have been wearing eyeglasses since I was seven.




My mom initially taught I couldn't read. I wrote my notes with misspellings but being an educator, she immediately had my eyes checked.
I am myopic.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myopia


3. Aside from my spiritual directors, family and friends... my companions in the journey include ...




NAB (New American Bible)...


            Mr. Webster (dictionary)...


                                     inspiring books...


and


diaries ( in every stage of my life )...


Now I get to write my entries in my e-journal (Tagged) and blogs...


4. It was my eldest sister who introduced me to prayer...


She told me one episode in St. Teresa d'Avila's life when I was six and I did just as she had recounted to me...






I went to my room...  I asked God to speak to me...
I waited for His voice for half an hour in silence...
and that's how God stirred my heart...

5. I have the same number of friends in Tagged and FB. At the moment, I have less than sixty...


My Tagged bestfriends are Maria (a Japanese) and XT (an Indonesian)... I haven't met Joseph yet to complete the Holy Family...


while my intimate friends in both networks bear the same name...


All my friends are included in my prayer list...


6. In the 'real world',  I have been sharing my life with only "four faithful friends" I have met since I was ten.


Reunion at Abe's


...the rest are the people I meet each day along the streets and in the hospitals I get to visit.
7. Finally...hmmm... 


Let's leave the seventh a space for questions you'd like to ask... 
Geez, please be gentle ;)... 


________________________________________


I share this award to the young ones whose blogs I still am exploring:




Aishani Jaiswal of  To Be, Or Not To Be, Whatever
http://aishanitobeornottobewhatever.blogspot.com/


Portia Burton of Portia's World
http://me-abookworm.blogspot.com/


Abhishek Singh Rathore of Lines from heart.....
http://abhisheksinghrathore.blogspot.com/


Abhisek Adhikary of Abstractos
http://www.abhishek-adhikary.com/


SonaLee Desai of Spectrum of Lyf
http://shonadesai.blogspot.com/


Sukanya Bora of  Life's Trivialities
http://sukanyabora.wordpress.com/


Romeo Das of ...my journey of life
http://romeo-das.blogspot.com/

_______________________________________


Rules:

 Thank and link back to the persons who sent you the award.
Share seven things about you.
Spread the love and honor
Award recently discovered bloggers.
Contact those bloggers and tell them about the award.


________________________________________


I would love to see you grow young ones... You are all precious...


To the ones I haven't encountered yet, break bread with me... you are most welcome...









Messengers of Hope


Not all angels have wings and look like cherubims. 

I met two of them recently. And they came quietly into my life...they were not longtime friends but people I encountered in the streets once and were never seen again but they created such a great impact in my life...

I was never the same after that.

angels in disguise:

In choosing life, God has given me gifts greater than the material things provided me by family. 
God enrolled me in the school of love where the heart is formed and is continuously shaped according to the potter's skillful hands.

God gave me angels in disguise as co-travellers in this school. And as days progress into years, God enables me to see more a person's heart. From the abundance of graces God is giving me, He also provided me with "THORNS" and weaknesses inorder to keep myself rooted in the ground. 

By allowing my weaknesses to surface, my friends and co-journeyers make HUMILITY tangible and I'm forever grateful to them for that.


"That I might not become too elated,a thorn in the flesh was given to me,an angel of Satan, to beat me,to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this,that it might leave me,but he said to me,"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Cor.12,7-8).


Who are your angels?





Thursday, June 16, 2011

In Answer to Who Wants To Be A Filipino? by Jimmy


* I wrote this as a journal entry in Tagged in 2010 and I'm revisiting my reflections with my buddhist friend in celebration of our Independence Day , 12th of June 2011.


This is how he reflected on it...



Having had what I call a blessing in being in the United States Air Force and being able to travel to different countries I have learned a lot. I have also been to the Philippines among other countries.

On my very first trip there my fellow Americans were telling me how cheap it was to get a woman for the night. I found this rather interesting. Not one of them told me about the culture or the people. So being different, I decided to check it on my own.

I learned that because of the economic struggle, women with college degrees were forced to work in bars to make a living. Forced to do jobs they really would not do, but to support the family, they did. I was taken by total surprise on how some of these very beautiful and educated women handled themselves around the ignorant foreigners that only had the ONE idea of them.


I must admit that not only did my heart go out to them, I found myself apologizing for the total disregard that foreigners had for them. I saw them talked down to, humiliated, and forced to do acts that would make a normal person shudder. I will admit that some of these women did enjoy doing what they did. They became what I would say, experts. And even to this day I know some that try and use people to get what they want rather than being honest and sincere.

This does not only happen in the Philippines, it happens in other asian countries as well, everwhere in this world. I felt ashamed at times to be an American. WAIT! I am very proud to be an American and to have served my country. Not all Americans can be judged by the ignorance of a few, just like the acts of others cannot define the people as a whole.

I love your culture, your family connection that no one can break. The pride I see in your fellow countrymen here in the states. The willing to sacrifice for the family by leaving your country and working abroad to support the family left behind.

Take BIG BIG pride in being Filipina. It is what you are. It is YOU. I cannot write more because I have written too much.

Always remember, take care and remember that there is someone out there that cares for you.