A Miracle!
I needed more light before I could understand how God works in my life. I've shared several faith stories in my blog, but 'conversion' is a process I have to undergo each day... every moment of my life...
The Road to Freedom
I remember talking about my 'soft addictions...' ~ my little cravings, want of attention...they were minute but noticeable just the same because once they accumulate they become a hunger ~ disordinate and insatiable esurience that corrupted my soul and my being.
My confessor counseled that I 'choose' my thoughts... It has to be deliberate and freely made... and I followed this 'difficult' road because my natural tendencies were always in the way.
"I don't have the strength to stay away from you..."
-Edward Cullen, Stephenie Meyer's Twilight
That was a close excuse from taking control of myself. But that exact same time, the Lord gave me a person I could journey with through this...
Often I have said to people,
"I will pray for you,"
but how often did I
really enter into the full reality of what that means?
-Henri Nouwen
The Journey
I didn't exactly know what I would do. I wrestled with the Lord, "The blind cannot lead another blind...(Mt.15, 13)" My friend was struggling from his own addictions. I wanted to give up at one point because he was pulling me down. But God always made me felt that His grace was sufficient.
For a year and a half, every time the chalice was raised in the Eucharist, I offered God my friend's soul and asked Him to guide my friend's ways.
I really bring my friends and the many I pray for into my innermost being and
feel their pains,
their struggles,
their cries in my own soul,
then I leave myself,
so to speak,
and become them,
then I have compassion.
-Henri Nouwen
-Henri Nouwen
We didn't see each other for two weeks before Easter, but when he came back he told me he had been reading. I saw a glimpse of God somewhere because my friend never reads. His social networking decreased ... our frequent talks lessened and last night he had a revelation.
He had been crying, he said, and for two nights he couldn't sleep. He was reflecting on what he read. It was about God and the Last day... he wept like a child, he told me, because God did not expose his sins to others but instead made him see it on his own. He felt sorrow for displeasing God and wanted to change his ways.
And he wept for himself because he knew that his inner struggle is not over... this was just the beginning...
God answered my prayers!
"Oh," he added, "I've been praying for you too... that you may be released from your walls of imprisonment... I thought of you, and wanted your soul saved."
I broke into tears... God answered his...
Compassion
lies at the heart of our prayer for our fellow human beings.
When I
pray for the world,I become the world;
when I pray for the endless needs of
the millions,my soul expands and wants to embrace them all and bring them into
the presence of God.
But in
the midst of that experience I
realize that compassion is not mine but God's gift to me.
I cannot
embrace the world, but God can.
I cannot
pray,but God can pray in me.
When God
became as we are,that is,when God allowed all of us to enter into the intimacy
of the divine life,it became possible for us to share in God's infinite
compassion.
In
praying for others I lose myself and become the other,
only
to be found by the divine love which holds the whole of humanity in a
compassionate embrace.
(Genesee
Diary)
To Pray is to
Become
by Henri Nouwen,In My Own
Words:compiled by Robert Durback, Chapter 3:Response (Ligouri,Missouri:Ligouri
Publications,2001),54.
What was it that I prayed for?
That we may both encounter and experience God in a more personal way.
-Reflections with my Muslim friend, 19 April 2013-
---
Updates:
I think the miracle is the 'turning point,' the realization of God's merciful love, hesed... It is God's grace that sustains us from going back to our former life...
Let us pray then and continuously desire for what is good, holy and pure.
To my dear friend, know that even if our interactions have not been as regular as before, I continuously offer you to the Lord... be patient with yourself... SOAR HIGH!
MELISSA! That image of Mother Teresa just takes my breath away! How can I get a copy? Thank you for sharing this part of your story, Pretty Girl.
ReplyDeleteHi Brandee, thank you very much. I wrote you back in your blog.
DeleteGod bless :)
Oh, it would bless me so much to have a copy. My e-mail address is normalgirl@hotmail.com
DeleteI don't remember how I made my way to you, but I'm hoping we can work together in the future.
Hi Brandee, I sent it to you :)
DeleteBeautiful, Melissa. I find sometimes that the best way for me to help people is to pray for them because God has infinite strength and that the guidance by the Holy Spirit will always lead them to the right direction. Such a blessing to learn that the Holy Spirit is working in your friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree, conversion is a process. And it does not happen overnight. One really needs to work for it because temptation will always be around us.
God bless, Melissa, and much love <3 :-)
You know while writing this, I was thinking of St. Augustine and his mother, Monica. When I start praying for someone, I assume a mother role so I could be persistent and really give genuine care to the person.
DeleteIt is God's abundant grace. I believe that the Spirit worked on my friend because he was docile. He really desired change and just didn't know how. He said he was too weak to resist the temptations.
And I believe God loves us so much that He gives us many chances and allows us to see Him if we really ask to.
Lots of love...and know that I pray for you. I ask you to include me in yours.
God bless!
Melissa, your post is such a testimony to the strength of prayer, but also to how everything is done in God's timing. Praise God for His grace and mercy! But I also want you to know that this post is much more than a testimony. It is an answer to an unspoken prayer of my own. I have not visited or read any posts since my father passed away a month ago. I opened BP and saw your post and was led to read it. God has used you and your site to communicate to me a powerful message that I needed to hear. Thank you for that ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteDear Mary, thanks God for He opens our hearts, our ears and our mind so that we may learn to listen to His voice.
DeleteAll my love and prayers to you. God bless always:)
Your faithfulness and deep love for your friends and family always blows me away, Melissa.
ReplyDeleteYou reflect that faithfulness and deep love BS :) Thank you!
DeleteLots of love :*
I did the same as Mary.. I have not been active in BP and just popped in for a moment.. but there it was.. your post your words.. I had just told Mary That my bibles remained in the trunk of my car for weeks... I have just gotten myself up and dressed and headed to the car for my bibles... thank you Melissa for sharing your friend and yourself here... the "conversion" begins.... I love you .. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteThanks God Bonnie :D I remember thanking my friend for everything he has taught me and he said, "Thank God for the enlightenment."
DeleteThank you for opening your heart ~ you must desire that change Bonnie. God loves us so much.
I love you too. All my love and prayers.
You are such a beautiful friend Melissa-Your friend is so blessed to have you. Thank you for this inspiring post. It is genuinely spiritually encouraging to see how God answers prayers.
ReplyDelete<3
Hi sis, I thank God because it is also through people's prayer that God continuously pours out His abundant grace to me. I feel that love in my heart~ the miracle happened to me more than to my friend... lots of love and prayers for you and your family!
DeleteWhat more can I say when I feel your motherly love every single minute? Now I know that you are the answer to my prayers when I was in great distress and dilemma, and you know how your soothing words helped to restore my self-confidence.
ReplyDeleteall my love, dearest Mom!
-Portia
More often than not, we think that helping or praying for other people is just one way... but you have helped me in becoming faithful to praying because you've given me a reason to reach out more to God.
DeleteLots of love. And I continue praying for you and your family.
Thank you for writing and sharing this post Melissa.
ReplyDeleteI love how your friend found God and rectified his ways with divine timing. And how persistent you were in the process.
Sometimes, God answers us so quickly and give us the way. Other times, it take so much longer and we won't understand or know the answer for months, maybe years.
I think all we can do on our part is continue to seek God, continue to experience God daily and worship God. The rest is up to Him to show us - on His watch:)
You remind all spiritual travelers to find divine patience.
Thank you Vishnu. I've just read a book about God and the Mystery of Time. It is indeed a test of patience for all of us. And yet, it's always God's perfect timing. The miracle was on me ;)
DeleteGod breaks the bonds of slavery from sin only if we allow Him to enter our lives and pour out on us His abundant blessings.
Lots of love!