Epiphany Part 3: On Love [Story of the Bride, the Bridegroom and the Bridegroom's Friend]

*Note: Quotes in pink ink from Leslie Ludy

When the Lord closed the door to the life I’ve come to know for ten years as a religious… 
I had mixed emotions over what was ahead of me…

                      
I have always prayed for a true and lasting love for myself...
              
Photo Credit: google
                                
The Bride and the Bridegroom

 I have come to know Jesus since I was three and have decided to be with Him when I turned thirteen. I thought of serving people as a nurse and as religious missionary ~ taking care of people's body and soul ... but Jesus desired more than that...


I romanticized it all ~ ‘charity,’ ‘poverty,’ ‘life inside the walls,’ ‘prayer’ and ‘perfection,’ ‘community life’ and ‘apostolate.’ The Lord wanted my ‘heart’ and I felt I couldn’t give it all yet despite efficiency in service and length of years living with Him.
Given the opportunity to ‘grow’ more outside, I felt that a part of me died when I left but the seed of hope was replanted in the presence of my mother.

I 'thought' the next best thing for me was to marry. Looking back at how my relationship with Sam started and ended ~ I always had this feeling that I have scared him away with ‘commitment.’ Talking it over the table with my mom the other day… for two years, I have played deaf to their prayers until circumstances proved right that it was not him. 

                               “You continue to get your heart broken 
                            because you are holding the pen of your life 
                                and trying to write your own story.

                             I am the Author of true love. 
                            I am the Creator of romance."

Last year, I had an unusual encounter with the Lord through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I felt Jesus knocking again and asking for my ‘heart.’

                                          I know your heart’s every desire.

 He sent me a spiritual friend... 
photo credit: Google via my spiritual friend
I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, 
but first you must give the pen to Me. 


I received His gift... 

 You must let Me become the center of Your existence. 
You must let me have total control of your love life 
and every other area of your life as well.” 

~Leslie Ludy, When God Writes Your Love Story~
It was a journey of discovery and adventure into the depths of the Lord's heart as I took my spiritual friend's hand. I re-lived my 'novitiate' days for six months as he 'accompanied' me in prayer, reflection and most of all, in love...

I gave the Lord my Memoirs… I was ready for the new chapter. 





"Whatever souls [and HEARTS] are made of,
his and mine are the same."
~ Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights
photo credit: Google
to be continued...

Popular posts from this blog

Soul Friends

Image
Linking into the 'Blogging and Friends' blog hop at Bongo Is Me and  Living with Food Allergies and Celiac Disease . I met with some friends this day. We've known each other since we were ten and somehow even though two of them already reside in the US, we've managed to communicate all throughout these years. Our traditional lunch at Abe (from L-R: Hazel, Ella, Me, Hazel's parents) 5 May 2012 Sto. Domingo (5 May 2012) Then I went on a date with my childhood friend. I have not visited Him for a while and I longed to see Him (He was waiting for me ). I came home and spent time with my friends online... It was while reading Bonnie's post that I became reminiscent of how my life started in the blogging world. It was January last year when my ARTner and friend for two years in Tagged asked me if I was interested to publish my ideas. I read Fher's blog but made comments on my online journal for discussion. I was a bit hesi...
Read more

ţlīthā qūm

  ţlīthā qūm Mark 5, 41 NIV I wonder how He said it... Was it similar to a song?... a soft whisper...  la Sua voce serena... tranquilla... 'Nowadays, we couldn't distinguish whether one is angry or affectionate ~ the tone with which we say things are the same...' preached the priest last Sunday. ...He  saw her, he called her forward and said to her,  “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.”  Luke 13, 12 NIV There's something in This man... His look... His gaze... His eyes... mi penetra... nel profondo... fino all'anima mia... "He reached out His hand and touched the man. " Matthew 8, 3 NIV ...gently... senza timore... ------- I remember a story recounted by one Peruvian missionary nurse I worked with in North Africa. She was assigned to prepare a teenager for his first communion. He not only looked younger but he was quite smaller than his age. He was all curled up because of an unknown disease. His whole body...
Read more

Of Cups and Dreams

Image
I scooped up TWO EMPTY CUPS before leaving that Sacred place... and whispered something to two Franciscan priests... I woke up and reached playfully inside my pocket to see if I brought them home with me then I wrote Lisa Marie Farfalla about this dream. Empty...cups... It was the night before the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The next day, Corinne Rodrigues wrote  Half Empty or Half Full?  . On the 21st, Savira Gupta wrote something about emptiness:  "Emptiness or a feeling of void is a phase or a moment of pause. A time to observe, understand and digest what I have experienced. It is when I am nudged into looking or deciphering what is meaningful and what needs to be discarded. A time to ponder or be with myself....No judgments or labeling....  Making space for what is about to come" Yesterday, I came across Andy David 's  This Cup of Mine  . Symbols, colors, numbers, dreams ~ Each of us had CUP in mind...  A CUP ...
Read more