Ahuv Sheli

I had a very lively discussion with my mom early this morning. We ate "current issues" for breakfast ~ same sex marriages, relationships, single parenthood, life back then and now. I asked how she and dad reached forty-one years together ~ it wasn't an easy life. She said the younger generation either fears or eschews "sacrifice" and 'self-denial' ~ those are important ingredients to family life ~ sacrifice is the language of love [cf Bishop James Conley]. Sacrifice took a new meaning in my life when I discerned to become a single celibate ~ gone was a life of security, of forming a family, of having children... the Lord gave me "other" families and children. "Real love is being open to the love that comes to you.  The LOVE that surprises us ."  ~ Pope Francis,   Meeting with the youth of Manila  ~ Love presented itself as a "twin heart" ~ one who loves Jesus dearly. For a while, I thought it would end...

"If we want to live a life of love of God,  we must not fail in our love towards our neighbor."  ~St. Therese of Lisieux~   For quite sometime, I've grown comfortable leaving a few notes to friends and "disappearing" for a long time without a trace... I was 'busy,' or at least I tried myself to be. I thought I was 'forgetting myself' by doing so.  I was not bothered until I felt restlessness and ennui within. I felt that the period of 'desolation,' that affected my relationship with others, was the door that the Lord used to 'break through' my heart. I realized that, in place of the 'precious' moments with friends, was a thick wall that prevented me from relating deeply with them.  I stopped sharing...I was no longer re-inventing myself. While confiding this to the Lord in prayer, He led me to 'three' courageous people facing different odds in life: A woman whose husband's sickness left her f...

Ninety days was gradually reduced to seventy-five ... to sixty ... thirty and now I have less than a few hours to face my fears... "Bless the Lord, O my soul!"  May my life be a song of praise... ~ Psalm 103 ~ Three months seemed like a long time... and the agony of waiting will be over soon. My anxieties found their escape in dreams. I asked a   friend   to interpret several dreams that I had after I had my check up in January. As the days flew by, the dreams began to unfold one by one...  The  test .  I found myself at the second crossroad. I was challenged to re-think my decision of being single because of my condition. These three full months [January to March] I saw how the Lord has opened all the doors for me ~ He IS a very generous God. And He gives us freedom to choose where we would like to go. The dinosaur was the cyst I allowed to grow within me. The anger that blocked me from seeing my future in a different wa...

I was brought to the   crossroads   of my life at the beginning of the year and along with them were dreams, visits and challenges... "When the heart is able to ask itself and weep, then we can understand something."  ~Pope Francis' message, Youth Encounter in UST~ The Year of Conversion Spring came to my life in 2013 ~ my U-turn to the Lord.  It was symbolized by the birth of the little sage... who is now two. The Year of Love Out of all the people in the world, he chose me.  He has a heart like my own.  Centered in the Lord, t wo-gether  apart we promised to live our forever now  ~  2014 onwards ~  by  loving and serving the Lord right where we are now. The Year of Faith Two breaking news left me at the crossroads this year 2015.  While friends wrote their lists of resolutions ~ I found myself fully surrendering to the Lord's plans this time . His faithfuln...