Ahuv Sheli

Resting to Love Again I’ve been sensing some negativity around a friend... someone who, I know, doesn’t mean to be that way. It’s just how she is. But lately, I’ve also felt the weight of my own thoughts... the shadows of weariness and self-doubt that threaten my peace. In the past, I would pull away as an escape... hiding from people, convincing myself that solitude was safer than struggle. But this time, it is different. I am learning to recognize my mind’s fragility, to honor it, and to care for myself before I fall into despair, depression, or mistrust. So I am leaving some blank spaces in between... not out of hatred, disgust, or irritability, but out of love. These pauses are not walls but breaths of grace, moments to order my mind and realign my heart with God. Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds to pray (Luke 5:16). He teaches me that stepping away is not abandonment; it is a way to return with renewed compassion. I rest not to distance myself from love, but to let it grow pur...

Every time someone dies, a part of us dies too. There is a pain that grips the heart, followed by the sobering realization that our own time will also come. Death stirs questions that words cannot easily answer. In recent years, we have lost several cousins aged forty to sixty One of them I had just greeted on his birthday... two days later, news came that he had died. Another was a friend with whom I often exchanged messages. She struggled deeply but spoke of hope and of living for her daughter. One night, I received a call saying she had taken her own life.  I found myself asking: Have I really been there for them? Have I listened enough? Did I send a message of encouragement when they needed it most? Because it is better to offer flowers and speak kind words while they can still be received and cherished. Perhaps this is what God is teaching me through these losses... that love must be expressed now, not postponed. And if I have failed to do so today, may God grant me the grace...

I was surprised to realize that today we celebrate the Solemnity of All Dominican Saints. During Mass, the priest asked, “Who inspires you?” The question lingered in my heart, stirring memories long tucked away. I was inspired by my younger brother, who introduced me to books when I was a child... and through his stories, I first met St. Francis of Assisi. By my mother, who taught me the value of study and perseverance. By my parents’ quiet generosity toward the poor, which showed me what love looks like in action. By St. Teresa of Avila, who was honest about her struggles in prayer, yet remained a faithful friend of Jesus. By St. John of the Cross, whose poetry spoke of the beauty that can blossom in darkness. By a gentle person in high school, whose kindness reflected God’s tenderness. By the film Bishop Romero, which revealed the cost and courage of standing with the truth. These memories are not just fragments of the past... they are foundations of my calling. Each person, saint an...

I recently watched a Chinese drama entitled, " Love Yourself More ," because of Li Keyi and Wang Pei Yan, two actors whose on-screen chemistry I admire.  What I expected to be just another romantic story surprised me with something deeper... a character development reminiscent of Japanese animes, where growth and meaning slowly unfold. The most beautiful part came in the final ten minutes, through lines that I will never forget: “Happiness is not something others can give you. If it was, it can easily be taken away. Only the happiness that you give yourself is real.” “Thank you for letting me see the shining side of myself. I didn’t do anything. You have always been the sun, just briefly covered by clouds. What I can do is stay by your side, waiting for the wind to clear the clouds.” Those words struck me deeply. They reminded me of how often we seek happiness and validation in people, achievements or fleeting emotions, when in truth, real joy comes from within, f...

Putting Heart Into the Work Last year, I asked permission from my bosses to report to the office only twice a week. Those two days are a little breather from my daily routine of feeding my furbabies and doing home-based work. Though brief, my days in the office are always full... filled with reports, feedback and, sometimes, complaints about the younger ones or the newbies. It’s been almost two years since they were hired and while their bosses often say their work approach reflects “their generation,” I can’t help but think it also reflects the kind of formation (we) received in school. I suddenly appreciated why, since elementary days, we were taught to lead groups, work with others, make decisions together and communicate clearly. Those exercises weren’t just for grades... they were training grounds for life. They taught us cooperation, accountability and empathy. Now, I see how easily these values can fade when work becomes just a routine and not a mission. The struggle is not abou...

There was a viral post of a young woman crying after a government employee allegedly belittled her instead of helping her. It struck a nerve because we’ve all been there... facing someone in authority who makes us feel small when all we need is a bit of kindness. It reminded me of my time on mission in Italy. I once accompanied an elderly sister to an office, I think for her health insurance, and instead of a smile, we were greeted with a scowl.  The line was long, the air heavy with impatience. Yet this elderly sister, instead of reacting harshly, gently said to the woman behind the counter, “You must be tired.” In an instant, the atmosphere softened. A small act of understanding broke through a wall of frustration. I’ve seen this grace before, especially during our mission in a Muslim country in North Africa. The people were mostly respectful of Christians, but there were some who mocked the sisters for not speaking the language well. Ironically, that became a blessing, because t...

The Big YES I remember when I was just starting my formation years. We were on a resort outing and I wore a plain white shirt. Since I knew I’d be getting wet from swimming, I wrote a big “YES” right in front, just to camouflage what might show through when it got soaked. But my formator noticed it and asked, “What’s the big YES for? What are your intentions?” Back then, I honestly didn’t think much of it. I even felt a bit irritated 🙈🙊... why did everything have to be questioned? It seemed like we were always being asked to examine our motives, our inner reasons for doing even the smallest things. But as the years went by, I finally understood. It wasn’t about being strict... it was about being REAL. It was about learning to face myself, to check what was inside my heart, not just what others could see. Fr. Dela Rosa’s homily brought that memory rushing back. He said something about inviting guests to a banquet just to highlight one’s own importance. PrIde, he explained, has the “I”...

Making Every Second Count Today, as we commemorate the faithful departed, I found myself led to Pope Leo’s prayer intentions for November, offered for those who struggle with suicidal thoughts.  I sat there thinking... why is it that those who still want to live are the ones fighting for every breath, while the younger ones, those who have barely begun to live, sometimes wish to end it all (soon🥹)? What, or who, is their anchor? I guess we all want to be remembered somehow. We want to leave something behind... a mark, a legacy. But for some, the thought of being remembered in weakness or sickness feels unbearable. Some choose to end their story while they’re still “okay,” while others, feeling like a burden, slowly lose the will to fight. It’s such a sad thought… and it makes my heart ache. Then I remembered something Fr. Dela Rosa said in his homily: make each second, each minute, each day count because once they pass, they’re gone forever. That hit me hard. Life isn’t about how ...

Sainthood Is Not an Option, It’s a Must Today we celebrated the Solemnity of All Saints at the Columbary... a sacred reunion of both the living and the dead. The air felt heavy yet holy, filled with remembrance and hope. The priest who celebrated the Mass shared not just blessings for the “tombs,” but blessings for our souls as well. He reminded us of something Pope Francis once said, "Sainthood is not an option but a necessity." It is a challenge for each of us to aim not for comfort, but for holiness. He used the word SAINTS as an acronym. And as he beautifully said, the Beatitudes (Gospel today) are the blueprint of sainthood. S – Sincerity St. Alphonsus Liguori said we must work on our character, not our reputation. Character is who we are before God, doing good even when no one sees us. A – Accountability We are not meant to live only for ourselves. Our time, talent and treasure are gifts meant to bear fruit. E. Powell said, “What we are is God's gift to us. What we ...