Ahuv Sheli

September always feels different for me. While most Filipinos see it as the start of the Christmas season --- with carols playing everywhere and decorations slowly appearing --- for me, it signals something else entirely. It’s the time when my life shifts into panic mode... Deadlines loom, articles need to be published, and this year, AFES is happening at the same time. The pressure doubles, the to-do list grows longer... and I often wonder how everything will fit into such little time. Still, I remind myself... one day... one task at a time... BREATHE.

Pets or Pests? In one of Mom’s sermons on community cats, she spoke about how they can be both a challenge and a blessing. The other day, I found myself wondering the same thing: Are cats becoming pests now, since there seem to be so many of them around? On one hand, I see how their growing numbers create challenges... the noise when they are in heat, the mess of their waste in pots and on the ground, even the risks to health (such as toxoplasmosis) and to the balance of nature (as they hunt rodents, birds and lizards). And yet, in the light of faith, I cannot simply call them “pests.” I once overheard one of Belle’s theology classes, where it was mentioned that animals have souls, specifically, a 'sensitive soul.' This was really an eye opener. Scripture reminds us, “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31, NIV). From the very beginning, God entrusted humanity with the task “to work and take care of” the garden (Genesis 2:15 NIV). This shows that we a...

I am two or three days behind in my Road to Fifty reflections, which are usually drawn from the Gospel or from the happenings of the day. So now, I’ll try to gather my thoughts from the days I’ve missed. Yesterday, I shared about the quiet heaviness I carried in my heart. It was not only because of the dying newborn kitten, but also because I had been unkind to its mother. Since we cannot take in more community cats to feed, I would often shove her away or spray her with water. Many times, I act more from the pressure of my surroundings than from charity... and that saddens me, because it is contrary to what I preach. I also wondered if the mother cat did not tear off the sac of her kittens because she herself had no safe place to raise them… or perhaps she was too poorly nourished or stressed. Moving forward, I pray that I may act more spontaneously out of charity and not out of fear of what others might say.

This morning, I went to Mass carrying a quiet heaviness in my heart. I had woken up hopeful, not even drowsy from the medicine I’ve been taking. But before I left, I found a newborn kitten lying by the gate. At first, I thought it was gone, but then I saw its tiny breaths. The placenta was still there... I feared for its fragile life. When my mom said it would just be thrown away, my heart sank... but I had to go. As I entered the church, the Gloria had already begun. It was the Feast of the Archangels. My heart was heavy AND they were singing praises. In the midst of it, a still voice whispered to me: “You are not God.” Those words humbled and consoled me... I joined in the Gloria and lifted up both my sorrow and trust to the Lord. Today’s Gospel reminds us of Nathanael’s encounter with Jesus: “You will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man” (Jn 1:51). It is a reminder that even in our moments of helplessness, GOD IS PRESENT... and His ange...

My only sweet escape from reality comes on weekends... at least from official work. Yet even then, I am still tugged by countless strings: side hustles for extra income and responsibilities at home. The endless cycle of 'things to do' is exhausting, but I cannot simply set the wagon down just because I crave rest. It’s like taking caring of children... there’s no day off nor real vacation. I long for a moment to quiet my mind and soothe my heart… just to pause, breathe and listen. Perhaps this is the cross I am meant to carry, yet it feels disheartening to see others so easily 'squander' money they have not earned through hard work 🙄 Still, I hold on,  hoping that even in the heaviness of work and responsibility,  I may find meaning...  and in the stillness I seek, a small taste of peace.

"You will find out that CHARITY is a heavy burden to carry, heavier than the kettle of soup and the full basket. But you will keep your gentleness and your smile. It is not enough to give soup and bread. This the rich can do. You are the servant of the poor, always smiling and good-humored. They are your masters, terribly sensitive and exacting master you will see. And the uglier and the dirtier they will be, the more unjust and insulting, the MORE LOVE you must give them.  It is only for your love alone that the poor will forgive you the bread you give to them."  ~St. Vincent de Paul --- Oftentimes, when I give something (to a beggar)... whether bread or money... I catch myself expecting a smile or at least a word of thanks in return. My intentions may be genuine, yet I still feel a sting of offense when the gift I offer seems unappreciated — when they ask for something else, or even for more. Today, a spiritual friend shared with me these words of St. Vincent de Paul. They ...

This morning, Fr. Simon Peter said that many of us, like Herod in today’s Gospel, only "know" about Jesus. We hear stories, we know His teachings, BUT we do not always come to that 'deeper knowing' that comes from REAL encounter and relationship.  The danger of staying at the level of CURIOSITY is that it DOES NOT CHANGE US.  Herod was curious, but he remained restless, even fearful, because he never allowed himself to truly know Jesus. Deep in his heart, Jesus was a 'threat.' The same happens in our relationships with others.  Often, we “know” people the way we know celebrities... we hear about them, see their image and make quick judgments based on shallow impressions. It becomes easy to criticize, hate or dismiss them because we have never truly sought to understand them... to encounter their struggles.  Just as curiosity about Jesus without intimacy left Herod unsettled, our superficial “knowing” of others leaves room for judgment rather than compassion. ...