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Monday, July 15, 2013

Coming Out of the Shell: Braver... Bolder... Fiercer...


"Don't you want to be a Laida Magtalas someday?"
my brother 'seriously' asked me
Laida Magtalas version 2.0


I woke up light headed...
   still giddy with thoughts from yesterday ...

and the entire week...

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I almost fainted in the Church yesterday, it's the first time it has ever happened to me as I already got used to my low blood pressure... and it's the first time I missed a family event in five years that I've been out of the 'walls'... 

"I can't come with you," I wistfully told my mom. 

My dad drove me home after mass and I slept for three straight hours. 

Those hours were the most quiet and relaxing... 

I saw how much I was loved by my dad that Sunday. I like those tender moments when I'd really feel 'genuine' caring. It's also the first time I didn't push that love away.

I felt my stubbornness fading away...

----

smiling...

The Spirit whispered something about Cory and I prayed for his soul. I was actually crying last night before I slept at ten... listening to Cory's songs and finishing a movie I've been watching the previous nights...

I haven't really been into love stories lately and this 'blessed soul' (thank you!) shared a video that made me curious about it. It made me laugh at the first part and cry at the last scenes (so typical even of Filipino movies).

Here's a quote I lifted from it: "Maybe they haven't seen me through 'your' eyes."

(e.g. Like the way my brother sees me as Laida Magtalas after four years)

Maybe it's time to see people through this 'special lens'  ~ now.

I thought, how really short life is ~ and to be alive, today... well, that's really something to be grateful about.

One more day of loving... one more day of seeing our loved ones... one more day of forgiving and being forgiven... 

"If you love those who love you,
what reward will you get?" ~ Mt. 5,46 NIV
My little niece Audrey and I, 13 July 2013
 ------
grateful...

"There's something different about your posts ~ you're coming out of your shell now," a friend I've been journeying with for over a year  and who I've been emailing my posts told me last night.

"You're healed," my soul sister Rimly wrote me...

*After all these years...I received an SMS from the one person I wish to forgive...

and he was the first to say, "I'm sorry..." (assignment from Restoring Broken Relationships with Rick Warren).

*I received my Japan visa for a conference in August  (more of this Law of Attraction and Vision Board in my next post~faith and letting God be God).

*I gave away the rice we were supposed to eat to hungry kids...and the next day, the Lord provided us with food more than we could eat (Divine providence and trust).

----






Wholeness~Faith journey 
It's the road I'm still treading ~ 
it's still a very long way to the heart... 

but I know God walks with me all the way.


How about you? 
Where are you now in your journey?

Bonus:

joyful...(this song sounds triumphant)

*Of the songs in the movie, I loved this. It takes another meaning in Tamil as a love song... but Hosanna (Aramaic הושע נא ~ save/rescue ) for us is an expression of adoration, praise or JOY

I Love You Lord... tantissimo!



17 comments:

  1. Melissa, it sounds as though you are opening up like a butterfly, and you are ready to accept and love both yourself and all that God brings to you. I love that photo of you on the beach. You look so free and happy...like a butterfly!
    Love!
    Leah

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  2. My chest still feels so heavy after learning about Cory's death. I can't even look at articles about his death in the internet without feeling so heartbroken. I was supposed to write a post about it but I just couldn't. Maybe I'll try later today...

    Where you are in your journey is inspiring. Everything does fall into place when we let go and let God. :-)

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    1. I'll tell you a secret Irene... you know, I learned 'deep trust' when God handled the situations the way He wanted them to be. He gave me so much peace even while I was waiting for His answers. He was glorified even more after that... because I learned to wait for Him...

      Many were speculating that the cause of his death was due to drugs...but what if, just what if, it was really his time to go? We continue to pray for his soul...

      I wish you peace Irene and thank you for sharing this journey with me.

      Lots of love always!

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  3. Yes, my dear, you definitely ARE coming out of that shell and trusting more and more in our loving God. Blooming like the unique and dazzling flower the Lord intends for you to be! Keeping you in prayer always!
    Much love to you, Melissa!

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    1. I love that I am both a flower and a butterfly Martha :D

      Thank you so much for your prayers ~ and know that you are always in mine too.

      I love you so much and I am so blessed to have you in my life!

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  4. 'One more day of loving..one more day of seeing our loved ones... one more day of reading my sweet mom Melissa's serene words!!!
    -Portia

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    1. You are so young daughter of mine... but time is so relative and it could be either short or long depending on how you use it.

      Learn to appreciate what you have....I continue to pray for you and your mom.

      God bless always!

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  5. Melissa, I'm glad you're starting to see yourself as the person so many of us see you - gentle yet strong, questioning yet grounded, always loving and giving. Continuing to pray for you as the metamorphosis continues. ♥

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    1. Thank you BS :) You've put it in such a beautiful way.

      Thank you for the prayers ~ lots of love!

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  6. Mel, everything is happening in a sequence I guess. The Universe is with you all the way. You rock girl. The 'shell' is what you imagined...you are coming out of your comfort zone. Good luckl

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    1. You are so right Janu ~ everything is coming at the 'right' ~ perfect time. Thank you!

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  7. Hey Melissa, yes!! the universe is indeed opening up and showering you with the many gifts due to you:) Thank you God! And thank you to you for opening yourself to accepting these gifts! Sometimes, we don't want what is in store for us and resist it. I think this is just the beginning of many more good things to come your way.

    In addition to all the positive external things that are happening, your inner growth, strength and wisdom is a true gift.

    Congrats and love the Audrey pic of course!

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    1. The universe has always been open I guess... but I failed to recognize its power...Thank you for the many things you shared/ sharing, I am truly learning a lot from this experience.

      Now I understand what "Here I am, Lord" means...I am ready to receive now...

      God bless. Audrey will be with us this weekend :)

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  8. The caterpillar must rest and be ready before the butterfly emerges. That transition is not an easy one, but once it decides and does it with faith in its heart, it emerges magnificent. All the best Melissa, be magnificent. You go girl!

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    1. This is such a beautiful analogy between a person and a butterfly... I love the transition ~ patience and time are really important. Wow!

      Thank you Suzy ~ you have always been here with me in my journey. Lots of love!

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  9. I'm sorry you weren't feeling well dear. I still haven't processed the loss of Cory. It doesn't seem possible or real that someone who brought people so much joy is gone. But I do believe we leave the best of us behind. Your niece is adorable. Thanks for sharing her with us! As far as my journey goes, I feel elevated and sometimes still underwater. So I guess that means I'm still learning and growing. Thank God for that. Hugs!

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