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Saturday, September 22, 2012

εφφαθα: First part



"Morning after morning He opens my ear..."
Isaiah 50:4
~Morning Ear Introduction by Goergen~

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September passed swiftly like a breeze … 

and so has one year of my life...


General Assemblies, conventions, meetings, hospital visits, weddings, catechesis, taking care of my little nieces sandwiched in between

early mornings and late nights on the road...
         MRT stress scenes...
              13-17 hours exposure to     
                     computer screen...
                           article analysis...
                               reading...


It's totally taxing at some point so I learned to switch off some channels

I counselled less and listened more to...

The road

10 September 2012. Along the streets of EDSA.

The streets have so much to say. 

They become avenues for the plight of the poor and people's sentiments. 

Awareness campaigns, strikes, peaceful revolutions, environmental causes have been amplified by crowds and mass media.
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21 September 2012. A typical Fri-day afternoon along Quezon Avenue
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The Sky
I noticed that traffics become run-of-the-mill... especially on Mondays and Fridays...

They become frequent sources of incidents and lassitude.

I continually believe that it is curable if there is more discipline and respect among us.


Need I say that countless Filipinos live along the streets, under the bridge, in carts?

Seeing them moves me to compassion. 

I know the Lord hears their cries... 

Do we notice? do we even care?




18 September 2012. Overview of our workplace from 17th floor.



The sky cries mostly September nights.
Earlier this year, we experienced a rainy summer.




By August, most parts in QC and Manila were flooded by monsoon rains
(This is very unusual).
Small rains cause water to rise.

What does Mother Nature say to us?





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My Body


One of my little ones nebulizing while asleep. All my nieces have asthma.


One of my little ones nebulizing while asleep. All my nieces have asthma.

When do we actually admit that things are enough?
I think I do when I find myself in my sick bed for several weeks.

In a retreat I attended in 2006, a Claretian Missionary shared,

"The mind can lie a lot but the body cannot lie. 
In fact, the body is more honest than the mind.
Whatever the mind refuses to accept is pushed to the body.
Hence, the body has more memories than the mind."

Work and leisure...
restful hours of sleep...
These are golden because money can never ever buy us back our health.

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Dreams



...what my mind refuses to accept is pushed to the body.

I usually find the refuse in my dreams.

I had a dreamfest several months ago. 
"Dreams are like pieces to a puzzle and we only get ONE piece at a time..."

Oh how true!

Recently, after watching an episode of MMK on tv,
I found myself again in the sanctuary with some people I knew in my past.

 
Today, the dream had its continuation...

I saw myself celebrating the mass with them (this is the second time I dreamt of them as an assembly). The difference is... they started talking to me.
I didn't argue...I acquiesced and listened...


All the anxieties I had over the years...
the ghosts that were haunting me...
my shadows...

They reconciled with me...

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20 comments:

  1. Finding that healthy balance isn't always the easiest thing to do, especially when one is as sensitive to the world around her as you are. The body, indeed, is more honest than the mind; our minds can deny we are under too much stress, but our bodies will revolt with aches, pains, or true illness, forcing us to slow down and rethink our priorities.
    And, I love the dream of reconciliation . . .
    Blessings to you, sweet Melissa!

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    1. I'm really exhausted (physically) Martha. I realize I have to give up some things inorder to fly. I realized that it's a two way process. I liberate myself and at the same time allow others to discover their own inner resources.

      It's not easy to be there for 'everybody' :)

      I realized that we listen more with our heart because God speaks there...

      Ephphatha!

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    2. It's really not easy to be there for everyone, Melissa. Even superman can't be in two places at the same time! ;) But I trust that God will lead us where we are needed most... do take care of yourself, God needs people who are available for His call.

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    3. Thank you Joyce. I'm taking one moment at a time. Oh I know of saints who bilocated...but I'm not like them :P

      God has His purpose and time. I agree.

      I will :)

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  2. Melissa, what a beautifully written post, although I can hear the discern behind your words. Sometimes, we feel like we need 'clones' of ourselves just to get everything done that needs to be done. But, God didn't make us to do everything and sometimes, we need to ask for help or learn to say 'no'. Continue to pray and your prayers will be answered. I know that you will get rest and things will work themselves out and become less complicated. Sending big hugs ♥♥♥

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    1. You are right about discernment Mary. I thought when I chose another path, things would be lighter. But I guess, I took in more than I could handle. It isn't about work but stress comes in the form of interacting with people (as early as going to work in the train station) and travels (traffic and office hours). Or maybe I should discipline myself first.

      I do pray things will improve. Thanks for the hugs :*



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  3. My dear wise and honest, Melissa. Thank you for sharing all you are going through. I was moved by the fact that all your nieces suffer from asthma. I'm sure you realize that it is a very psychosomatic illness. It appears genetic to the extent that people within the family oftentimes process stress similarly. I will add these little ones' health to my prayers for you and your family.
    I do believe that like you said, your body is speaking to you. Perhaps, it's time to let go of the outcomes of your efforts....?

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    1. Thank you for the prayers BS. I guess it is... There are so many things that couldn't be shared with everybody, but yes, I agree with you.

      How do I let go?

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  4. Melissa, the dream of you in the sanctuary, the dream that continued, and where you saw yourself in the midst of ghosts from the past in the assembly, and where they reconciled with you… how are you feeling after that dream? ♥ ♥ ♥ Love and prayers

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    1. I felt that we were both just waiting to break the ice.

      You know, every time I pray, the Lord brings up those memories to heal. I didn't ask for any sign. But I know that when I dream of them as an assembly celebrating the mass, we have this common prayer.

      I felt forgiven in that area of my past.

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    2. I want to cry reading this. Tears of joy, though, because healing dreams are divine; celebrating mass together surely shows reconciliation and forgiveness. God wipes the slate clean and we stand in his presence pure of heart and burden-free.

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    3. Oh Thanks God! Now I have tears in my eyes ~ thank you for bringing this to my attention.

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  5. Your photos speak volumes, Melissa, most especially the one about poverty. I had an actual encounter with the victims of poverty yesterday. I've been thinking about it too much since two weeks ago. And I'll be writing about my reflections in future posts.

    Metro Manila traffic taught me A LOT about patience. Although I still wish traffic isn't that bad.

    And what a precious photo of your niece and the nebulizer. I'll include them in my prayers. <3

    I have recurring dreams. Maybe I should pay attention to them so that I'll understand the message behind them.

    God bless you always, Melissa. <3

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    1. I've been thinking a lot of you lately and I pray for you. I guess even the skin's pores have ears :) And we could reach other people through vibes. What do you think?

      I think we should pay attention to everything that surrounds us (inside and out)... be patient with yourself. God will reveal everything in due time :)

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  6. You have such a beautiful heart. I pray healing and reconciliation that brings about the continual state of experiencing the peace that surpasses all understanding. May you continue to be His feet and hands...you serve Him so beautifully. Love you lots.

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    1. Thank you for your prayer sis. It's the most beautiful prayer this time. I pray for you too ~ I am truly humbled by every comment I receive. Let all these be redirected to our true Source. Lots of love!

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  7. Melissa, you are such a beautiful person! I am sorry to hear about your nieces suffering from asthma! Will keep them in my prayers!

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    1. Thanks Nelieta :* Ooo getting ready to tag you :P and I haven't revisited your page yet.

      Thanks for including my little ones in your prayer ~ please squeeze me in it too :*

      Lots of love!

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  8. You are so special, bella. You have a beautiful heart. If we give too much of ourselves than we are empty and less effective. I'm glad you are taking a look at what's most important and allowing yourself some free time. I am moved by your words and I also have compassion for the homeless. I wrote this over a year ago, because I was so disturbed by the world, looking the other way... http://www.farfalladreams.com/2010/11/pink-houses.html

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    1. More than the busyness are priorities Lisa :* The Lord fills me up and gives me rest.

      Thank you so much. I was thinking of you from yesterday. It's wonderful when spirits and ideals connect :)

      I visited your post. It's very inspiring! Grazie!

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