Il Perdono

I devoured His words but have not fully understood "forgiveness" til now...

I have kept the Feast of St. Mary of the Angels [2 August] in my heart and held it in high regard among the Franciscan celebrations. It is also well known as the Pardon of Assisi or the Porziuncola Indulgence. 

Inside the walls, I remember role playing San Francesco... in the end, I sent the audience off with these words, "Voglio mandarvi tutti in Paradiso."

I want to send you all in Paradise! ~ but how I struggled each and everyday to bless people when I am offended...fazed...aggrieved...deceived...disgraced...

All I ever wanted to do was throw away memories but the Lord kept them intact.

I felt mercy's full weight when I was forgiven by a person close to my heart whom I have displeased. My confessor reprimanded me heavily but also told me to be patient and wait. After a week of silence, this person spoke to me. I felt that compassionate embrace of the Father  [cf. Lk 15:20] ~ I was ready for whatever he might say [my shield of pride], but instead he spoke to me with words of love. He did not judge me [he destroyed my shield and I was humbled].

And my time came to concretize this mercy given me when a person owed me money. I tried to bargain half way to get the debt back but it left both of us sleepless: that person had no source of money.

How true what the Pope said in his visit to Porziuncola,

The problem, unfortunately, comes whenever we have to deal with a brother or sister who has even slightly offended us. The reaction described in the parable describes it perfectly:"He seized him by the throat and said, 'Pay what you owe!'" (Mt.18.28). Here we encounter all the drama of our human relationships. When we are indebted to others, we expect mercy; but [when] others are indebted to us, we demand justice!* 

Given the circumstances, I stayed several hours with the Lord, and peace came. I knew what I had to do.

It was a liberating experience ~ the very same way I felt when I threw the camera in Kyoto... I need not get even nor hurt the person back. I need not call him names. He is in the Lord's hand.

So while my twinheart and I pray, I mention all their names and the Lord takes them one by one in His hands...enveloping them with the same kind of mercy He gives each one of us.

"Gaze...attentively on mercy so that 

we may become a more effective sign of the Father's action in our loves."

~Pope Francis, Misericordiae Vultus #3**

Supplement readings:
*Meditation of Pope Francis on his visit to the Basilica of St. Mary of the Angels on the Occasion of the 8th centenary of the Pardon of Assisi [4 August 2016] [Text] [Video]

**Misericordiae Vultus ~ Bull of Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy [Text]