Sunday, November 11, 2012


I'm beginning to love October...

It is the month of healing and recuperation for me.

Song: My Love by Sia Furler 
co written by Oliver Kraus

I had three stillpoints in my life outside the walls...

First, when Sam left... 
second, when my sister decided to experiment further with her future 
and lastly, when a very close friend died in a tragic way.

Something inside me craved for silence... not the one we know of ~ mute... cut off from contacts...  
but the kind that is filled with the presence of the 'Other'.

This time around 'we' meditated on 'protect'...

A particular memory of the 'street kids' we used to assist came to my mind.

image adapted from a news photo in Tempo

We took them out of the streets and provided them shelter, food and clothing...
It was good for a time until we noticed a change in their behavior. They refused to 'visit' their own families ~ the ones they left behind...

I wished they wouldn't have to go back to their former way of life... I knew we adopted the kids in order to protect them but, perhaps, the message wasn't that clear, to us nor to them. They NEED to recognize their roots ~ and that they could do if they knew why they have to go back to their families...

I saw the same thing happening between  my nieces and I when they started going to school... well, when they started growing up actually.

I wish I was always there to protect them the way I did when they were younger...

I watched 'The Miracle Worker' with Belle last weekend... and my eyes were opened...

When people 'leave' either by separation or death, an unexplicable sorrow fills our heart.
It is as if 'something' inside us has died with them.

I remember asking God, "Was I not enough?"

I think what is not enough is that we protect people. 

We must teach them skills
to live...
to struggle...
and to fly...
{without breaking their spirit}

I finally, finally understood what my SD wrote about 'developing backbones'. 

There's a time to reach out and carry people 'across', to hold their hands and lead them the way... but there's also a time to sit back and allow them to walk alone in the dark, question life and find answers for themselves.

We could only live our own lives... not of others...

It is not my intention to leave noble thoughts in the minds of the people who reflect with me. I am struggling to put these reflections into practice...

in faith, in charity and in deep joy.


" Nothing will frighten me...
 If thick clouds hide the Sun and if it seems that nothing exists beyond the night of this life -
well, then, that will be a moment of perfect joy,
a moment to feel complete trust and stay very still
secure in the knowledge that my adorable Sun still shines behind the clouds."

~ St. Therese of Lisieux~


  1. Dear One,

    That's what the life is constituted of momentary moments. Each of them different from one another.At one end they give us a reason to live life and at the other end they makes us weak and inspire negatively.
    Do not seek for the answers let life answer your questions step by step.

    Lots of Love!

    1. I am content dear one with every moment now. I'm learning to 'stay' and cherish things and people who pass by rather than pretend to enjoy them :)I could only open my hands and heart...

      Lots of love to you always!

  2. Replies
    1. ...and...was waiting for more... LOL!

  3. Such a deep and spiritual reflection, dear Melissa. Yes, there are times when we must be there to help others, and a time we must let go of their hands and allow them to follow their own journeys. That is never easy, especially when we become emotionally attached as in raising or caring for children or when we lose a dear friend or partner.
    It is so comforting to know that we are never alone or abandoned when God walks this journey with us. As St. Therese knew - "the adorable sun still shines behind the clouds."
    Blessings to you, my friend!

    1. Thank you so much dear friend. I like what you wrote about emotional's really kind of hard to let go ~ it involves enormous strength and trust on the Other. But I guess, that's just how it is so.

      The sun, God's glory, His brightness is always keeps me warm :*

      Lots of love!

  4. The music in this post is so lovely it brought tears to my eyes. I think the most sensitive of us has a need to protect and there is nothing wrong with wanting to love someone in this way. We just have to make sure there is balance and also know when to let go. The sadness we feel will ease over time and we will be blessed for taking care of another.

    Bless you Melissa, for your heart and soul are kind. :-)

    1. I am so glad you took time to listen to the music. It's part of the whole story :)

      Oh I just love how you reflected on this. You have always understood my heart's intentions.

      While reflecting on this, I realized why at some moments God allows periods of desolation. I 'need' Him...I really do. But there are moments when He tests my strength.

      Lots of love Tameka :* God has a reason in everything.

  5. As always, I am deeply touched by my visit here, Melissa. I can so relate to learning how to let people stand on their own feet. Too often, I tried to be too much for others. I realized it was my own need to be needed. Now I know, that I have to empower others to stand on their own.
    I love the way God walks beside us, gently teaching us and nudging us along our path.

    1. How true BS ~ it's that 'need' to be needed...I feel helpless at times.

      I love the word 'empowerment.' That's really how it should be... I just have to learn how :)

      Lots of love!

  6. Melissa, I am sorry you had to go through so much but am also very proud of your strength and understanding of life. You are doing so much good in this world that you deserve and will get the most beautiful experiences in life, keep on smiling and being YOU, god bless.

    1. Oh thanks God for everything.

      I pray I could share more Sulekha... God bless and thank you for your uplifting words :*

  7. Yes,one has to walk on his God-given path and Not any one but only He can lead us correctly on our way. We simply have to leave everything in His loving hands. I have realised this and even a little worrying makes me feel guilty now and I immediately shrug off those negative thoughts. Perhaps this is what is meant by a real 'backbone'!
    Dearest mom, thank you very much for these wonderful words. They give me strength.

    1. Thank you for your note dear daughter. You have your value that cannot be taken by anyone. It cannot be bought nor should it be begged... You are God's daughter no matter what happens and no matter what other people think of you.

      I continue praying for your mom. God bless your family!

  8. Dear Melissa,

    Thank you for bringing this post to my attention, I missed it before...

    This is something I constantly remind myself: "We could only live our own lives... not of others..."

    Whether in relationship to my own kids, my students, my friends, my sweetheart or WHOEVER this is so important. And in relationship to myself, also, I need to remember that nobody but me can live my life."

    Thank you for sharing! XOXO

    1. Oh thanks God, we could only live our own lives. I do not wish to be manipulated nor the other way around :P

      God bless all your endeavors Linda love. You are doing great!

  9. You are 100 percent right. Everyone has to be independent. Even God help those people who help them self.