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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Awakening


I tossed and turned in bed all night and couldn't bring myself to pray nor sleep knowing that I've displeased someone...

Last night, he finally took a moment to tell me that I was offending him by not talking to him... 

I've ceased asking him for help because every time I did, he declines...

I was filled with remorse but I refused to cry. 

Then God led me to my heart's softer spots and told me that...

This person made me stronger in a sense... I found my way through life without him...

I learned how to do things by myself ~ I became more creative... I  became a better artist because of him...

I woke up refreshed in the morning and found my way to the train station when suddenly a guy flared up right infront of me... 

I was so piqued I blurted, "You are either a guy or a girl!" I knew that by saying it in English I would've offended him twice...but I immediately caught myself...

Were these remnants of last night's confrontation? Or an anger I've denied for several years?

I closed my eyes and saw several patterns in my life on how I treated men in general. I've always looked down on them...

Perhaps, this is the time to see the 'whys' all these years and finally allow God to take them away...



"Sometimes what you think as an open wound needing to heal --- is God opening you up like an ear to hear Him & obey...

Have you had similar days of awakening? people you've always seen as villains but in reality were God's instruments to bring you closer to yourself?





26 comments:

  1. Some wounds are hard to heal though we try...and, these creates patterns and we cannot see them ourselves unless we have deep understanding of our real selves.

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    1. That's so true Janu...Oftentimes, it's not that we don't know, but we don't go deep... sometimes, we're not yet ready...

      Lots of love always!

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  2. Looking at our lives from this perspective is something I hadn't thought about - that even those who have been mean or hateful or spiteful to us can be used as God's instruments, too. I'm going to think about and pray over this one.
    And, of course, pray for you, Melissa!
    Love and blessings!

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    1. I've reflected over your comment and my post for sometime Martha. I was struck...

      I wasn't referring to Hitler...the Nazis...rapists...'wicked stepmothers'...nor cruel employers...

      Perhaps, I have used less words and ambiguous thoughts...

      But what I was referring to was a longstanding history of life and unforgiveness... a 'burden' that is carried over and over and passed on to different 'unsuspecting' persons...

      Perhaps, I could reflect more on this again :) Lots of love dear friend :)



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  3. In answer to your last question, oh yes. Definitely yes. Although I didn't appreciate it at the time, and still resist acknowledging this sometimes, I know in my heart that certain people were sent to me to open up my heart.

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    1. Thanks Galen :) I understand the 'resistance' part :). Lots of love!

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  4. Sometimes Melissa, reflecting into our own heart and awakening truths we have kept hidden can be quite difficult, for me especially. I know this is something that I have been being led to do lately, and I have been avoiding it. I guess the first step is admitting that I have avoided. Your post has come at the most opportune time in my life and I will heed to the message. Thank you Melissa. You will be kept in my prayers :)

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    1. Thank you very much Mary. I have read your comment several times and each time I feel grateful that somehow I am not alone in this situation.

      Lots of love and prayers to you too.

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  5. Yes, I do believe that we constantly get messages to point us to unhealed parts of us, Melissa. I do believe that sometimes 'villians' bring us the message much louder than 'nice' people. ♥

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    1. Thanks so much BS. I really appreciate what you wrote here... It does happen and perhaps it is just me who call some people "villains" lol... but they might just be 'angels in disguise.'

      Lots of love!

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  6. Hi Melissa,

    This was very interesting, indeed. I certainly do believe that when we experience emotions such as anger, these are signs there are areas of ourselves, which need healing and are opportunities to do so.

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    1. I find anger very displeasing ~ and sometimes quite difficult to handle. But at the same time, it gives incredible strength to face certain situations... As Mary shared, awareness does come first... Thank you so much for stopping by Hiten. Blessings to you!

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    1. I pray everything's going well with you...

      Thanks for stopping by ~ lots of love and prayers!

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  8. Very deep..leaving me much to reflect on. I might have to come back to this to leave more detailed thoughts later on! I do love moments of awakening and am so glad you are having some...They are beautiful steps closer to being more absorbed in the truth.
    ~ blessings and love

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    1. Thank you so much sis. I would love to read your moments of awakening. Lots of love to you!

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  9. Yes, all of us experience such moments

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    1. Yes, I do believe so too. Thank you very much for your visit. I noticed you followed my blog too. Thank you.

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  10. I've never thought about it quite like this. I've tend to assume we're challenged because it's time to grow. I suspect there is a lesson in all that cross our paths.

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    1. Perhaps, there are so many dimensions to this post that I need to explore :) But IT IS time the time to grow :)

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  11. There are so many in my life that I had seen as villains.. and over the years when I look back ..though I struggled.. I realize that each one taught me a lesson... opening myself up to God and seeing his messages has been extremely hard for me... but I have come back to him and I am giving effort to be still and listen..... I love you.. As always...XOXOXOXO

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    1. Whenever we come together Bonnie, I feel like I could connect to you in so many ways...

      I was thinking of you and all of those who commented in my post... perhaps, another reflection could open a better road :)

      Lots of love always!

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  12. We really can't avoid misunderstandings... even people like you who seems to be very careful about her words do sometimes say things spontaneously that could possibly or could actually hurt someone's feelings...

    Also, when we keep hidden feelings, we tend to blurt it out on the wrong person or at the wrong time...

    A villain... yeah, I certainly have one... but, I really could not think that he was God's instrument... rather, I think Satan sent him to try my faith...

    Always supporting you here Mel!

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    1. I was reflecting on your last line... and my dear friend Martha's comment earlier... I really prayed for enlightenment.

      Satan is a 'stumbling block.' He curtails growth...cuts short the roads we're taking...makes things sooo easy and deceives that everything is delightful... while the Lord 'opens,' frees, lightens burden, doesn't promise an easy road, He is the truth... and He makes people grow...

      Perhaps I could write a separate post on this one...

      You are right... I need to be sincere at all times...but I do keep quiet...it's not to push people off but to process some things inside me... maybe the way I react...or think...

      God bless Key :)

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  13. Recognizing and coping all in appropriate ways immediately would make us perfect, meaning we had nothing to learn. I love life's lessons and how I feel when I am DONE for a time with another one. Blessings to you. <3

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    1. I agree with you Jan. Many times, it seems like I'm almost there, and then another minute the Lord provides circumstances for reality check... Lots of love to you :*

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