Sunday, March 20, 2011

Virtual vs. Reality

Do you have plans to marry?” The question was abrupt. It took me a while to absorb its weight. I mused in search of a quick reply. One doesn’t ask this type of questions to a person who just awakened from deep slumber... 

I gazed at my dad stuporously  wondering what he’s driving at... he continued, “Do you have plans to marry ........ the laptop? You’re spending too much time with an inanimate object again...”  addressing the objects of my affection to my books, keyboards, paint brushes and pens... My dad has his way of driving a point and for the first time I couldn’t bring myself to argue with him (he might take away the laptop forever... nyahahahaha!)...He has always been tolerant of my “misuse” and “overuse” of things --- I knew he wanted me to discover the “lessons” behind them for myself.

In fact, I’m living a very comfortable life right now. Even my mom was lauding my single celibate state. Problems on married life keep on presenting themselves at our doorstep and although I’m not directly involved in them I just couldn’t resist formulating my own comments. I’m an advocate of strong family life. I’m a product of one. But my siblings and I --- well, each of us has his/her own eccentricities --- my mom just couldn’t understand that. I was telling my mom while having our casual talks over lunch that when I came back to the Philippines two years ago, I was preparing myself for marriage and having twins...I even wrote that on my Tagged dreams... but over the months that passed I caught myself deleting one by one the dreams I used to I disillusioned by my siblings’ experiences? Not really. I just have questions. 

Last year, my brother’s partner had therapeutic abortion because of hemorrhage. Since this might lead to shock  the doctor had to remove the baby --- he was four months old already...the prospects of having a nephew drew back. I grieved over this and never got to share this even with my intimate friend. But what really surprised me was the fact that my mom said it was better that way... better?  Economically speaking yes... and people do have choices... but... I guess I was being idealistic again...

People prefer to have only one child. In China, they even have that policy...but they are looking over it now seeing the consequences of not having children in their country... And for limiting the female’s existence  there, they’re now encountering problems in choosing their partners. In Japan, they hire nurses and caregivers for the elderly because of the increasing “aging” population. In Europe, couples prefer “trial marriage,” living-in or having dogs as “children”... How about Orissa, India and cases of female infanticide? In a news by Brett Wilkins in Douche du Jour (21/2/2011), stray dogs eat baby girls who were left on the roadside by mothers who do not want them.

I do not judge but I’m asking for things that are more important in life...

So this leads me back to my father’s question and spending time with my virtual friends... as I enter my heart to seek  the essence of my choices... I really ask God’s guidance to discern which path I should take.


  1. So honest.and from your heart,and the truth is,leave it to write beautifully.

  2. Beautiful and thought provoking post, Melissa. Loved it.

  3. what's virtual? sometimes questions the real, what's real? sometimes questions the virtual. our mind often moves from real to virtual and virtual to real world for answers that we need to rethink. you depicted that very well. loved to read your writing:)keep up!

  4. Really well thought out by an obviously intelligent women, When the right person comes along you will make a wonderful partner. Your postings are always insightful
    By the way I never understood a country limiting female babies. It does not make any sense. If you end up with 2 or 3 times more men where are the new babies coming from?? Kind of limits your options lol
    Thanks Melissa

  5. Your writing reflects your intelligence. Take your time dear friend. Everything has a time and place. I am sure with time you will find your dreams and answers to your questions. Enjoyed reading it throughly

  6. Your writing is thought provoking and very intelligent. You bring up some very important issues that we should all consider.

  7. Wow. sometimes, I think I want to get married just because everything don't fall into the right places. Everything seems so wrong. Haha. But I'm too young for that.

    We're on the same boat. I find myself facing at my pc once again.Typing,reading,chatting .. Everyday is always the same. :)

  8. Hey Melissa! I love this post! It's genuine and straight from the heart! I'm so happy I stumbled upon your blog... I'll be following your next posts... Great article! :)

  9. hahaha Mellisa do u have plans to marry? hehehhe
    It was good post..super like ;)

  10. Melissa, lovely read : ) Yes the world is pregnant with cruel societal problems - and that is the understatement of the century. But here is my thought - your not marrying may not be the solution to it. Your marrying, having those twins and raising them in the best way - on the other hand, just may. You set an example and people may follow. Your writing reveals that you are a beautiful person and am sure that means you will be a great wife and mother : ) My latest post is at

  11. WOW!!! This is beautiful and sad in so many ways. I have never had a child, I was told I would never be able to. So when I hear stories of people that get rid of their children or have abortions, it really hits me hard. How can they discard a child, that is a BLESSING from God. Society today is backwards or upside down, in what they think matters in life. I'm sorry to hear about your brothers child. I hope they will again try to have another baby.

    To give birth IS the greatest MIRACLE we could ever experience.

    This is lovely, thank you!

  12. Hi Melissa,

    Lovely Post , making everyone to think and ponder upon.For me as well my all friends even colleagues said u get married to your laptop one day.

    Well may , just as u said spending most of the time over it to resolve the virtual issues more than the realistic one.

    Yes internet has become a part of life and find it quite interesting as I its very vast and knowledge sharing , giving your opinion etc quite a democratic front kind of stuff.

    But over all we must value life ..people around us and our dreams over all.

    Thanks it was a nice read.

    Take care
    Have a nice week ahead.
    KS :)

  13. Hmm..Very thoughtful!
    Yeah..It has been a major problem of girl infanticide in India and less numbers of females in other countries as well!
    BTW...Is that was I ? asking when you are getting married :p

    Nice read Melissa :)
    Happy that I stopped by ..
    Keep Smiling and Take care

  14. what can i say now....its really touching and honest.....keep on writing,,,,:)