Road to Fifty Reflections: Day 25

I was hesitant to go to Mass today. I woke up weary, overwhelmed by work and a little discouraged. My niece’s comment about people who go to Mass daily but remain unkind echoed in my head, along with posts I’d read about how non-Catholics seem to live better than Catholics. I knew these were excuses... but still, I felt unworthy.

Yet, in the midst of that hesitation, something in me longed to be near Jesus. To be present before Him, even in my sinfulness. So I went to Mass last night.

The brothers were there. I’ve been praying for them, but in that moment, I felt their prayers embracing me too. It was as if the Lord was saying, “You are not alone.”

Fr. Besa’s homily struck me deeply. He spoke of silence after the festivities --- after the grand celebration of Our Lady of La Naval, the novena Masses, the procession, the joy and noise --- comes the stillness. The quiet. The return to ordinary life.

And yet, he said, it is in that silence that Our Lady touches our hearts. It is there, in the simple routines and unseen moments, that we can grow in grace. We go back to our work, our homes, our daily battles, but with renewed hearts, receptive to God’s whisper in the ordinary.

Perhaps holiness isn’t found only in the feast days, but in the Mondays after... not in feeling worthy, but in still choosing to come.

Lord, teach me to find You in the silence after the celebration, in the small acts after the grand ones. Let my heart remain receptive, even when the music fades and my soul weary. May my ordinary life become my quiet prayer to You.