Road to Fifty Reflections: Day 41

When Troubles Just Don’t End

I was just starting to rise from my blah moments, trying to pray again, trying to find my rhythm, trying to breathe... and then another trouble shows up.

I didn’t see it coming. I can’t predict how people will react or what will come out of this mess. I just know that I’m tired of always having to start over, of trying to be strong when I don’t even feel steady inside.

And yet, somewhere in the middle of all this, I sense God’s quiet gaze... not distant, not indifferent, just there. Waiting. Holding. Drawing me into a space where I can no longer rely on my own strength.

Maybe this is what St. John of the Cross called the dark night ... when everything familiar falls away so only love can remain. Maybe this is how St. Teresa of Avila kept walking, bruised feet and all, because she knew Who walked beside her.

So even when the troubles don’t end, I choose to believe that grace hasn’t either.
And maybe that’s enough for today.

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