Road to Fifty Reflections: Day 42

When Life Feels Blue and Grey

Listening to “Blue & Grey” by BTS feels almost too real sometimes... as if the song was written for the moments when my heart sinks without warning. I feel these ups and lows even after an episode of depression, after I left the walls that once confined me. Sometimes I rise above it; sometimes I don’t. The trusting and surrendering part is agonizing, yet the Lord keeps whispering, “Give it all to Me.”

As I look deeper into the realities of others, I realize that sadness, fatigue, and melancholy wear different faces. One cannot compare whose sorrow weighs more or whose struggle runs deeper. Each heart carries a weight that only it can truly understand. The burden is personal, and so is the grace that sustains it.

In moments when I sink into the greyness, when even prayer feels heavy and my spirit trembles between faith and fatigue, I remember that the Lord does not measure strength by how quickly I recover but by how I still choose to return to Him, even broken.

Maybe the purpose of these colors, the blue and grey, is not to drown me, but to paint a deeper kind of faith within me. Because it is in my dimmest shades that His light proves real.

And so even when my heart feels faint, I will keep surrendering... not because I am strong, but because He is.