Road to Fifty Reflections: Day 32

This morning, it suddenly struck me how discouraging it must be for others to see a sour-faced Catholic. I thought of the priest we often dread... impatient, sarcastic, his homilies more admonitions than encouragement. Yet I also noticed him smiling gently and speaking kindly to the seminarians during confession. Even in him, I see that holiness is not about being perpetually cheerful but about offering what we have to God... even in our flaws.

I realize how often I, too, appear harsh or irritable. I find myself tense when cleaning the house or feeding the community cats, impatient with those who throw garbage carelessly or gossip loudly. Noise and disorder easily disturb me (even at work 🙊). And I see now that I present a poor example of a Catholic (and of someone who has consecrated her life to God at that).

I feel guilty when I fail... when I throw garbage carelessly, when I scold my parents (... siblings... niece... neighbors...), when I react sharply to others... How can I guide others in goodness if my own heart is so easily provoked?

With this awareness, I ask the Lord to change my heart. May He grant me patience when my body is tired, serenity when my spirit is restless and compassion even toward those who frustrate me. 

Like the priest this morning, may I learn to offer the small irritations, the daily annoyances and even my own shortcomings to God... for the sanctification of my soul and for the salvation of others.

Lord, teach me to reflect Your gentleness in all things. Transform my impatience into love. Let every little frustration become a prayer 😓every small difficulty an offering and every act of self-restraint a seed for holiness. Amen.